A
male
age
36-40,
*onfused5000
writes:Ok, so my girlfriend and I have been together for a year. Before that she was with a guy for a year and lost her virginity to him. Which im a little jealous of but oh well. She broke up with him because she said she got bored with him and never really felt that she was inlove with him and since then he's been trying to get back together with her. Through out our relationship, he has been sending her messages and text telling her he still loves her and wants to be with her. She shows me some of these messages and will often not respond to them or will tell him to stop contacting her. She will go on and on about how he annoys her. BUT, about four months ago we got in a big fight because she felt I didn't appreciate her and I said some pretty mean things to her. So, we broke up for a day and during that time she went to have lunch with him. We got back together the next day and she told me she met him and explained that she no longer wants to be with him but that she needed to be around someone that she felt appreciated her. Since that day I've been making an effort to be more appreciative but I can't stand that she gave him the satisfaction of seeing her. She promised never to speak to her again but last month we went on a trip to NYC and we got in another HUGEEEEEE fight. Basically some crazy drunk chick grabbed my nuts at a club and my gf was furious, i was like "lets just ignore her and have fun", but she wanted me to go up to the girl and tell her off. I felt that that would start unnecessary drama with some drunk crazy stranger. She was so angry that i wasnt angry by it so for the first time she hit me square in the face and she was calling me names. She was very drunk as well. I got so angry that I told her to get on a plane that day and fly back to FL where we live. She, she booked herself a flight and left the trip early. Later I found out that her ex booked her that flight and it was a first class flight. He's rich, I'm not. She swears she just contacted him for the free flight because she couldn't afford to book herself a flight back early. I just cant believe she went to him again. And it just bothers me even more that it was a first class flight on delta because I've always been jealous that he's a millionaire. I saved up for a month to get us coach flights on Spirit. Why does she contact him everytime we breakup? What is he trying to prove by buying a first class ticket? What does she still want from him? It bothers me so much that he has the satisfaction of knowing our relationship has serious problems and that she runs to him for her rescue. Her and I got back together but and she told me she will never speak to him again but When I ask her these questions she says that she loves me and wants to be with me but sometimes things with me get so bad that she misses being around someone who appreciates her and would do anytime to make her happy. She said that whatever she wanted, he would have done for her and that I have so much trouble doing things I dont want to do to make her happy like telling that drunk stranger off. And that, sometimes she just misses that.
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broke up, drunk, get back together, got back together, her ex, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2012): because her ex is familiar and because she can manipulate him. she enjoys the attention & shes afraid of putting all her eggs in one basket w/you. he's someone to make her feel good about herself, secure. it's hard to let go of the past. you will have to place those boundaries. if she refuses to let him go permanently, and is unwilling to go to you for the extra attention she craves- she's not in it for the long haul, even if she loves you. you'll need to let her go, let her find her own feet, and maybe then she'll be less codependent on men blowing sunshine up her butt, and have the confidence in herself. goodluck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 May 2012):
 She has no intention of being in a serious relationship with anyone so she would give any excuse to create distance for men. The rich guy is boring, but has money. You have passion, but do not appreciate her enough. That seems to give her to license to bounce back and forth between you two and use you. If you and the rich guy are combined together into one person that would be perfect for her. There is nothing more exciting than having two guys fight for her. Neither of you love her. You just want to win. Look carefully what is this worth of this woman. What's her value? What are you doing spending all that money to NYC for? A trip to the night club is quality time to you? Seriously?
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A
male
reader, MrWombat  +, writes (20 May 2012):
 Dude, your g/f is a drama queen. If she's accepting first-class tix from her ex, then she's also probably a whore. She broke up with him for a bulshit "i was bored", and now she's all "you don't luurve me enough" at you.Start looking for your next branch to grab. Decide whether you want to dump her, or if it would be wise to wait for her to dump you. Remember: drama queen. She may be capable of sashing your tyres (or worse) just for the sake opt drama.You do not need this bs in your life at the moment. In his late 20's, a man should be head down working on his career.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 May 2012):
 She's got a great, well-heeled rescuer, and you don't see the picture?????? YOU will go too far at some point... and HE will be the lucky prize winner, by having your girl come to him (for rescuing) once again... and, THIS TIME, he will get the prize in bed with him... and YOU, Sir, will be out of the picture, forever.....
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