A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey there ! dear aunts, i really want some help on understanding myself..first of all i'd want to make it very clear that i love my boyfriend and that i love each and every quality about him. him , his behavior , his thinking and attitude towards things is the kind that i expect from a man.i'm 19..(20 in 3 months) and he is 23 . i'm a student and would be going abroad for my post grad. next year.we've been together for 2 and a half years,and at present on a LDR due to his job being placed there.today, i met him after two whole months..we missed each other a lot,skyped etc. at first ldr was exciting. because whenever we met i felt like my life just came back to me.infact,all along it had been that way. my problem is that now,i don't know if its because 1 the relationship got old or 2i grew up...but i feel less oriented ..especially on bed, i don't feel the rush of feelings ,excitement as i used to 2-3 months back!i start to miss him as soon as we leave ,i want to spend more time with him. i almost feel like it would be so good if we lived together!but then again, when it comes to making love , i don't feel like before.although i miss him, i'm so used to being his partner that i don't feel excited or swept away when i think of him.now i was this girl,who was romantic by heart.if one met me even 6 months ago,i might have seemed so stupid with my fairytale expectations and ideologies!..marriage, babies, a loving faithful partner.but now i feel blank if i think of those things. even when i wonder "what if i end up with someone else" i don't feel a thing.its asthough someone put a spell on me.my friend who is 5 yrs older to me says that its my age..i have grown up.i have different priorities. she says that she too does not feel the same as she did at 16-20..!!this decline in love or change of personality is ever since the day..when i kind of got worried about my future,career, what to do next and things like that which was 3 months back. that day onwards i feel myself being pulled away from my old self!i dont know why but i feel extremely upset about this.is it inevitable. will i change back to what i used to be?i have become much more practical , i just see him as though he's just another ordinary man , i don't get the special feel anymore.is this what they call "falling out "of love.."plateau" or what??i dont think leaving him will be the solution , as this would repeat over and over with every guy .and i prefer sticking to one guy as much as possible. there must be something else which makes a life long relationship more exciting .that breezy love.gosh i miss being so madly in love :'(.i havn't gone out this long with anyone before..i havn't reached this point in a relationship!should i just wait until time passes by ..get myself settled , and then see what happens.maybe its that gap of time where a couple is dating and dating , there's a long way before you can think of marriage..so when the initial excitement is over and the next step is far away. that gap is boring?will i never feel like making love again?i have heard that women lose interest but never believed it...now its happening to me!But i'm just 20.. :O Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2012): , DoubleM thank you so much for clearing my doubts...i feel good thinking that its a normal cycle..! cos i was worried if i was falling out of love. i agree..yes i am too young and that is exactly why i felt uneasy ,as i haven't gone through this before..!i heard about men having cycles,needing their space etc. now i understand that we women have it too !i have noticed that what ever change happens in this "cycle" happens to me a few months after it happens to him.. maybe a male cycle is faster and shorter than a female's ..what ever..!its all so vague :o
A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (20 May 2012):
 Two or three months, or even much more time, is not enough for you to feel that sex and intimacy will not get back to more exciting times. We all, women in particular, have cycles. Pardon me, but you are too young to get upset over a few months in the doldrums. You will experience hot and cold times throughout life.
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