A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My best friend treats her rejection or endings with a guy in probably the most stupidest way! And i want to know why, even she said she doesn't know why she does it but it helps her in some way... which can't be good?When a guy has treated her bad, or she has just ended things with someone she was seeing.. she'll go out on a night out and then flirt with many guys and will want to get with them (just kissing). And then when she's done this, she always ends up texting another guy from it.. i guess it's her way of getting over guys and somehow lands her into the arms of someone else.. Because honestly, she just keeps repeating the cycle over and over, yet she can't seem to see that!I don't understand why can she not just be smart about it and think, okay it didn't work out, or he's an idiot he lost out. Not go and direct those feelings towards many other guys??
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male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Well it takes all sorts to make the world turn and as long as your friend isnt cheating on somebody I struggle to find much reprehensible in her actions from what you say. In fact, 'getting over somebody by getting under somebody else' is quite commonplace. Whether its advisably or not is another question - some people, simply need to be with somebody for whatever reason and seems like shes that type.
Maybe she has low self-esteem, maybe attention sex validate her and make her feel better. This would also explain why shes 'stuck in a rut' - it isnt her partner which is the problem but at the root of it all is how she views herself. If that is the case then you have to be gentle with her, beating down on her wont help and just make her do more of the same. Even people who seem outgoing and confident, if they behave like this, often are not.
It's good your making an effort to understand her behaviour. Talk to her about how she feels and try and guide her too feeling better about herself, if she does, she probably wont feel the need to do this. Good luck :)
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