A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had an affair with my boss. We are both married. I’ve worked for him for 7 years and I’d say emotionally it’s been going on since year 1 or 2. Physically, it started nearly two years ago. Within 8 months of it starting physically, I ended it (for every obvious reasons). That didn’t last, though. So, I ended it again and got a new job. He contacted me one week after I left. I was cordial due to the professional connection but nothing more - so there was no further contact. It’s now been 3 months and he reached out again ... I responded again cordially and professionally (after all he’s only connecting via Linkedin and professionally it’s important to maintain a cordial relationship ). But the conversation isn’t exactly stopping. (Yes I know that’s partially my fault). He says he wants to keep in touch - why? And how? Like we’re not exactly friends... I hate shutting off someone I genuinely like and who is professionally important to me; but, my feelings are stupidly still there so I know I can’t stay in touch. Why can he? Why does he want to?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2019): You'd be a fool to start up again with this creep. You worked hard to put this mistake behind you. Now, keep staying STRONG. You know this guy is a liar and a cheater and he will ruin everything that's good about you and your life if you go back. You played with fire and got burned. That doesn't mean light another match. It means stay the hell away.
A
female
reader, megha1212 +, writes (10 September 2019):
Of course! Free sex and I see you kind off liked it for a line time !! Why not take advantage of it and push your career ahead or just stoped it ..
if I was you I would use it to my advantage and move on ..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2019): He hasn't found a replacement yet. So, he's obviously horny, hoping you'll fall conveniently back into the affair. Do you want us to tell you he wants you? Need to feel good about yourself? Well you shouldn't. If he's still trying to lay moves on you he has no respect or love for you. You're just sex. He loves his wife. And he's staying with her. The same applies to you with your husband. It's over. Cut all contact. I mean ALL.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (9 September 2019):
You had an affair with him once. He hopes that if he keeps in touch you’ll resume the affair. I guess he figures once a cheater always a cheater.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (8 September 2019):
 Why ? Free sex.
Men are easy understand. This guy is pig, married but if he can free action on side with low risk, with a prequalified woman and with no investment ( he doesn't have commit, it can be secret etc) hes going go for it.
Also he wants keep open line of communication to have power over the connection.
An affair is never about love, it is about power.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (8 September 2019):
 Why? Because he is hoping that, somewhere further down the line, you will weaken again and pick up where you left off. YOU know that is not a good idea. You have higher morals than he does.
Is the fact he keeps pursuing you feeding your ego? Perhaps just a little bit? After all, it is always flattering to feel wanted. You don't mention your husband (and perhaps you have children as well) but I am assuming you love him (and them, if you have any). Each time your ex lover contacts you in a manner which is not purely professional, picture your husband (and your children, if you have them) and imagine how hurt he/they would be if they knew what had gone on.
If you do not feel able to tell your ex lover/boss straight out that you do not think non-professional contact is a good idea, then simply keep contact short and professional. You can keep a good professional relationship without entering into social chit chat or anything else. Stick to your guns and he will eventually take the hint that you are stronger than he is.
Well done for walking away. Now keep reminding yourself WHY you did that.
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