A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well me and my, long distance relationship keep on trying to rekindl the fire but nothing works its like she has a bf and says that she still wants to keep in tounch. So we keep on talking every couple of times a month not as much as we use to. I just don't understan what she wants with me I mean if she has a bf back at home why does she still want to talk to me here and there I dont get it at all, so lost :(.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 January 2013):
 Because she is one of those people that thinks that by ending a relationship totally (as it should be) that she's a failure.
folks seem to love to say "we dated and we don't now but we are still friends" as if that makes their relationship failures less of a failure.
It's not true IMO. I see hanging on to a "friendship" like this as a faux way of feeling better about yourself.
You do not have to take her calls or answer her texts.
YOU can block her number and her social media and her email if you so desire. And move on with your life.
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (8 January 2013):
 She's keeping you on the hook. She likes the attention. If she's feeling down, got no dates, she always has you waiting there to make her feel better about herself. Some girls can't be alone. They need as much male attention as they can get.
Just move on pal. Find a girl you can have a REAL relationship with. Not this wacko.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (8 January 2013):
Hi there. Perhaps it is that you and her both have different expectations of what you want from the friendship.
Have you ever met each other, or has it always just been contact by email or phone calls?
And as to whether she has a boyfriend or not, it's not possible to know that.
It could be that she is dating guys and just keeps in contact with you, because she is just answering your messages to her.
Like, just being polite maybe.
You mentioned trying to rekindle the flame, but what was your relationship previously like, before now?
Whatever it was then and what it is now, it seems that you have to make it clear where you both stand now with each other, for any type of friendship to exist.
And until that happens, you are only just guessing, aren't you?
Whatever method you use to contact each other, well then you need to ask her directly, what is the present status of you and her?
Sometimes, you really DO have to be direct.
It's often the ONLY way to get clarity.
Otherwise, too much time gets wasted, and life is far too short to waste any time wondering.
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