A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex boyfriend for 18 months. It was an on/off relationship because one minute he wanted me, the next he didn't. I also felt like he was using me for sex.He could not make his mind up about whether he wanted me or not and carried on acting like this. I kept taking him back because i loved him. After 18 months, i decided to end the relationship, as i couldn't cope with it anymore.We have always kept in touch though, i was wanting to keep in touch with him at first and i was still getting mixed messages from him so i decided to break all contact with him.When i did this, he was constantly ringing me, asking me what was wrong and if i had met someone else. He was saying he's grown up and he loves me. So now, he's doing everything he can to keep in touch with me, like he wants to keep me in his life. But i want to know for what reason. When i try to talk to him, he won't really open up to me. i need to know where me and him are going because it's like we have never split up, i'm so confused.He has a lot of baggage and has a lot of problems.Why does he not want us to break contact and keep me in his life?He can be a childish person. Sometimes, we have seen eachother, and i've ended up sleeping with him again because of how i feel about him, still after all this time. He still keeps in contact with me after we've had sex and he says he isn't using me and that me and him go back a long way.I really want to know what to do, it's confusing me.
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female
reader, StarNews +, writes (29 December 2005):
 Its obvious he cant make up his mind, which I feel is a lame excuse, and is stringing you along in the process. If you are allowing him to act this way, then you are giving into what he wants and sacrificing your own hapiness in the process. It sounds like he is giving you very little and is an unstable person. Ask yourself what you want out of a relationship, let him know and stand your ground. Dont settle for anything less. Once he knows you will no longer put up with his behavior, it is more than likely he will either disappear (and find someone who will), or stick around and make the effort it takes to keep the relationship going. Im sorry to say that the way you describe him, he wont be sticking around. Either way, this is going to tell you how much he loves you and values the relationship. Give it a few weeks. I would not contact him or return his calls during this time. If you are unhappy, dont feel satisfied and feel insecure in the relationship, he is not fulfilling your needs. I truly believe if you let go, you will find that he will fade out of your life. He is looking for someone to use and it sounds in your best interest to move on.
A
female
reader, Angel Underneath +, writes (29 December 2005):
I think he got used to being able to pick you up and drop you when it suited him. You were a nice safety net and he could keep you in the background knowing he could always come back for a bit if things elsewhere in his life didn't work out. Then you cut off contact and he panicked realising he was losing his hold over you.It doesn't sound to me like things will work out but I'm not in your shoes. Write to him and let him you he has one chance to convince YOU why you should get back together. If he dithers , or wont talk or makes promises he can't keep then be strong and do what you started and cut contactgood luck
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