A
female
age
36-40,
*IrishGirl_
writes:My fiancé and I have been together for 4 and ½ years and his ex drives me nuts! For the first 3 and ½ years all she did was cause trouble. She could call him all the time, text him all the time, she’d text me saying they’re together, she’d tell our mutual friends she got back together with him and when questioned why I was still living with him she’d tell them I just refused to move out, post things on Facebook about how they’re back together, etc, (all while she had multiple boyfriends). She would send him everything from I miss you, I love you, come see me, to fully cursing him out, to I can’t do this anymore you’ll never change you’ll never leave her I have to move on but I’ll always love you you’ll always be the love of my life. Now I know you’re thinking, why not change your phone numbers? They have kids together so we can’t just block her totally out of our lives. About 6 months ago she hooked up with her current boyfriend and about 2 months into their relationship they moved into an apartment together. Just recently they had a house warming party and they both (her and her boyfriend) called my fiancé to invite us to their house warming party. Although when she called (my fiancé didn’t answer, she left a voicemail) she only said him but when her boyfriend called (my fiancée answered, he didn’t know the number) he told my fiancé they’d really like it if we both came. The four of us are far from friends. We don’t hang out or anything, and her and I basically hate each other.) Why the heck would they invite us? And since day one of her being with this guy, she goes out of her way to tell my fiancé how happy they are, how she’s never been so in love with someone in her life, etc. Like she literally goes out of her way. She’ll call him and leave him voicemails telling him or when one of the kids calls, she’ll take the phone away from the child to tell him since he doesn’t answer her calls. She writes all this stuff on her boyfriends Facebook and hers about how in love they are and etc. She’ll tell our mutual friends stuff and tell them to tell him or grill our mutual friends about what my fiancé’s doing. It drives me nuts! Why the heck does she do this? I finally go her to stop sending the text messages and now she’s doing this.
View related questions:
facebook, got back together, his ex, I love you, move on, moved in, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 May 2013):
 She's obviously still not over your fiance, she is trying to pretend to be super happy in the hope that it makes him jealous and makes him realise that he wants her back.
She sounds a bit unhinged to be honest, I'd try and ignore it best you can. Ok so she needs your boyfriend's number for the sake of the kids, but you dont need to be friends on facebook so at least you can get rid of any facebook connections. Your boyfriend doesnt need her on facebook either - so the pair of you just delete her on facebook then thats one less way for her to annoy you.
As for the housewarming, perhaps they are trying to be nice and build bridges, or perhaps she just wants to see your boyfriend more so she's using this as an excuse to show off how happy she is again in the hope of making him jealous.
Either way, remain polite and tell her - thank you for the invite but we cant make it I'm afraid (make up some excuse if you have to, pretend you are busy doing something else). If you went along it would just be weird, so there is no need to put yourselves in the awkward situation.
I think time is going to be the only thing that sorts this situation out - the longer she is with this new guy the more she will calm down hopefully and will stop trying this silly jealousy tactic. She knows she isnt getting him back, but she still hasnt let go either and perhaps still has a tiny bit of hope that one day she will get him back.
Just keep being polite, only speak to her when you have to and ignore her the rest of the time. You shouldnt have much to do with her anyway, and it should just be your boyfriend that speaks to her about the kids. Anything more than that is unnecessary so make sure you cut down the number of ways she can contact either of you and if your friends keep relaying her silly messages just explain to them that you'd rather not hear it because you are tired of all these silly games.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (6 May 2013):
 Hi
Doesn't sound like she's that happy with the new man or she would just get on with living and life, she sounds extremely immature too.
I don't know what the children think of it all and obviously it's better they see mum n dad getting on.However they don't need the tension she causes.
The house warming would have been a good chance to get to know her new man or build bridges, just going for an hour would have done it.You wouldn't have to return the invite.
The only people who can stop her behaviour are your man and her man.You four are going to have some form of contact because of the children for years so it's time she was told.
The other choice is to ignore her behaviour just treat her like a naughty toddler an irritating itch, till she gets the message.
...............................
|
