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female
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anonymous
writes: Not sure how to handle this...I noticed that my boyfriend wears shoes that are about 2" bigger than his actual shoe size. I had an idea, but when we went bowling the bowling shoes were obviously big on him. I thought maybe they didn't have his size so I told him he should ask. He said, "no, this is my size." The same day, I found that he only wears his clothes in a certain order. So, the shirt in the very front of the others hanging in the closet get worn first. The same with jeans, the jean on top gets worn first. I only found this out when I grabbed a shirt for him. It seemed like a disappointment that I took it out of his order, so that is when he explained.Is this normal? Not sure how to handle this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 This is a blatant case of OCD. It's usually pretty managable, although it is weird that he wears shoes too big for him. I would reccomend a therapist to see how extreme his condition is.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 June 2006):
 I too do think this sounds like OCD. My dad was a sufferer, well still is really, i think once you have it you have it. We all have certain tendancies to have order in our lifes but some develop this further and have issues with contamination and spreading things around. My dad in particular had a fear of poison, he wouldnt go anywhere near a bottle, couldnt say the word, couldnt see it written or on the tv. washed his hands copious amounts a day and he too would not interact at social get togethers if you could get him there, just in case he had something on his hands that he would pass to someone else. He couldnt go shopping and in some cases wouldnt leave the house just in case, was a bit manic when the milkman called. My dads was a pretty bad case and is under control and comes in ebbs and flows, his was a result of grieve though, his mum passed away and he didnt grieve for her but instead turned compulsive, the mind is a funny thing and his way of not fronting to the fact his mum died was to hide behind the OCD,it did get way out of control at one point but i wont go to far into that. He too did have a tendacy to pick his nails though, to the extent that they would bleed, he was doing this because he thought he was somehow contaminated by the water that he washed his hands in, so it ended in a viscous circle, washed them to get it off but had to wash them again as he was contaminated and so on, its very hard to live with someone like that and at times it can get worse dependant on whats going on around them. It can be managed and controlled and with the right support people can lead normal lives. http://www.ocdcentre.com/ Take a look at this link and you may notice some others things that he does that point in the same direction. I suggest that you try to help him to seek proffesional advice, this is a very common disorder and lots can be done about it. It sounds way out there but with help it really can make a difference to people, there are case studies being done all the time so somebody will be in a postion to help.
I wish you the best of luck as i know this is going to be very hard, but i hope that you can stick with it at least while he gets the correct help and support.
Take care x
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Withdrawing from social situations can be part of OCD for the same reasons as the bowling shoes - people who suffer from OCD withdraw because they feel other people will contaminate them with their 'bugs'. Research has only recently picked up on the fact that skin picking is very much part of the OCD spectrum of symptoms - it is a way for managing the anxiety of everyday life. Your boyfriend needs to get some help, but he maybe in denial that anything is wrong (...OCD people have a habit of thinking they are right, and everyone else is just wrong). All you can do is gently coach him to a stage where he is ready for 'action' (i.e. ready to admit he has a problem and ready to seek help and receive treatment). Some OCD individuals respond well to a course of anti-depressants so try to get him to a doctor.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDrPsych+, you say that this is OCD. Does this also include people that withdraw from social settings? I notice that he would rather be alone in a corner than to socialize with others. He also picks/pulls at the skin surrounding his thumb nails, to the point of bleeding. I just met this guy 4 months ago and learning these things are concerning and causing strain on me.
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female
reader, Smiler +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Hey there
I completely agree with everything Dr psych has just said, she is spot on my only advice is follow her advice to the letter give him your full complete support show him you can get through this thing together and things should be fine.
I hope my advice was of some help to you sweetie :o) good luck ok... If you ever need someone to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on or maybe a little more advice, truly I'm always here for you ok :o)
You Take Care Babe And Good Luck X
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 June 2006):
Your boyfriend has signs of obsessive compulsive disorder but would require a professional consultation with a doctor or psychologist to confirm this. The 'too big' shoes are connected with a reluctance to have skin contact with materials that could be potentially contaminating (especially bowling shoes that may have been used by lots of customers!). His neatly ordering of his wardrobe is also a characteristic of OCD. For some people OCD is manageable but for some people it is a disabling condition that really affects every aspect of their life. If you think he needs help, perhaps you could suggest that he sees a doctor or therapist is he feels anxious about this sort of thing. Read up on the condition so that you can offer the right sort of support to him.
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