A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my bf and i have been together for 10 months we also live together.he has been divorced for 4yrs. and i for 6yrs. we have only have 2 disagreements we enjoy doing the same things and have lots of fun together. if you knew us you would think we were the perfect couple and i think we are as well. well he has been texting his ex wife and they are flirty text he said he does not want to be with her that he is with me and that he love me. i just dont understand why he text her???? they have had lunch a few months ago when i caught him the first time texting he said nothing happened. when i ask him why he text her he says he does not know. not sure what to do i just dont want to be blinded.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 January 2011):
 I agree with angelDelite. Texting his ex-wife is fairly disrespectful and suspicious. Granted, he probably isn't in love with his ex-wife, but perhaps he is keeping her in the wings, in case you guys have a fall out.
Does he have kids with her? That could be another reason why he keeps in contact.
Guys also get a little bit of an ego boost with the number of women they can call friends too. So while harmless in nature, it does build up his self-esteem knowing he might be able to "turn on" his ex-wife.
Either way, I'd like to see you get to the bottom of this. If there are no binds to one another (kids, business, property, etc), other than friendship, he needs to cease with the flirty texts -- they are disrespectful and disingenuous. Have him keep it to exchanging Christmas cards and tell him to move on and focus on you.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, foolishsage +, writes (18 January 2011):
 If everything is good between the two of you and you don't feel like the relationship is lacking anything and you are both continuing to try to build the relationship, then you need to let him know that it really bothers you. But you also need to know what specifically bothers you - is it the flirty part or what exactly is it? Then try to understand why it makes you feel the way that it does and communicate that to him.
I'm actually in a unique group to have first hand experience with this. Been divorced for two yrs and me and the ex-wife are WAY better friends now than we ever were before - we just didn't work as a couple. My personality type is the kind that likes to make a lot of jokes and a decent percentage of those jokes are innuendo, so a little bit flirty. I joke that way with all of my friends - even guys - and I'm not gay or bi, either - it's just a joke when I say it and everybody knows this. If that's his type of humor and personality, then it's easy to over-look the whole thing. BUT, if that's not how he carries on with all of his friends, then he needs to figure out if he has ex issues and get this taken care of quick...
just my 2 cents
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (17 January 2011):
 hi
fair enough if they want to remain 'friends' after their divorce, but he should not be flirty texting his ex or any other woman while he is an an Rship with you. he's showing you some serious disrespect here. if he cared enough about you he would not want to jeopardise his Rship with you!
i don't know if they have cheated on you yet, and i don't know if they will, but flirt texting is getting into dangerous territory.
this would completely destroy my trust if someone did that to me. even if he promised to stop i would not be convinced
by him, but that just my opinion, you may find that you can regain trust after this
xx
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