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Meeting his parents is a big issue for me but he won't allow it

Tagged as: Family, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2011)
A female Trinidad and Tobago age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I have been dating my boyfriend for one year and three months now, i have been asking him to meet his parents since but he wont allow me to; he was married and is older than i am, he says he told them about me, i am not making any excuses for him... i have met his brother some of his friends etc, he spends most of his spare time with me even late at night.i have seen his divorce certificate (divorce 2yrs now)...when he is talking to me on the phone he always calls me by my name no matter where he is.He is a nice caring boyfriend. Meeting his parents has been a big issue for me and it makes me insecure,therefore it is so difficult to trust him and we quarrel all the time, he told me it would happen when thing are first better between us. This issue is ruing the relationship.Please tell me what is going on and what i should do and is it true what he is saying? Thanks

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (18 January 2011):

Denise32 agony auntYou know, if the issue of you wanting to meet his parents is ruining your relationship, the obvious thing to do is for you to back off. What I mean is you need to drop completely any more requests/comments/criticisms about meeting them.

There is no knowing why he is so reluctant to introduce you. Perhaps they are very strict; perhaps he is unsettled because of all the quarreling that is going on.

So, for you, try to put it out of your mind and lower your wish/expectations to meet them. If you can succeed in doing this, then things may get better between the two of you, and once your bf realizes the change for the better is going to last (and not be just a flash in the pan, so to speak) he will be happy to have you meet them.

Good luck!

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