A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What is wrong with me? I'm scared of this person that I have become and I want to say that I'm suffering from depression. However, I'm not sure if it's that or just me...being so "in love" with my boyfriend. Does it seem like an obession? Over-clingyness? I need some honest opinions because I really don't now what's going on. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We go to different colleges, but since his university is 1 1/2 hours away he comes back every weekend. This semester he has lessened that to every other week, which was a huge change for me. The first time he told me I got depressed and started crying in school. I can't drive because my parents won't let me even though I'm already a sophomore in college. Visiting him at his university is therefore impossible. He told me that he can't come back every weekend anymore because school is getting hectic and stuff, which of course I understand. However, on those weekends he ends up going out and drinking a lot with this roommates (Mind you, there is only 1 guy among 6 other girls. He said he gets along better with girls than guys. Lucky me, huh?). I know he loves me very much, but I can't help but feel so insecure and jealous when he's out at some college party and he can't talk to me. The past three semesters together he called and texted me a lot. We would always talk through instant messenger and webcam. I felt connected to him this way despite the distance. This semester is completely different though...He acquired a really close group of friends at his new dorm, which is composed mostly of girls. He doesn't call me much...I usually have to initate it. When I do call he can only talk for a little bit. I get online and when he's on I talk to him. We talk continously for 5 minutes, but usually he tends to slow down in responses. It takes him 20 min or more in between messages because he gets distracted with friends coming in the room. I'm so extremely jealous of these girls and friends he chooses to hang out with over talking to me, and I don't know how to control it. It really seriously hurts me and I have become so overly sensitive. Our phone conversations mean the world to me, and a lot of times he is too nonchalant and whatever. He doesn't seem to care or miss me as much as I miss him. When we hang up I always end up throwing my phone and crying. Stupid and crazy, right? I just don't know what to do.I feel so trapped. I live at home and my mom drives me to school. When I don't see or talk to him, I feel like my life is so routine and I have nothing to look forward to. I cry often and I don't feel like getting up and going to school many mornings. Oh, and in addition to all of this...he's leaving for China in May for three months. He is studying abroad in order to fulfill certain degree requirements. I'm so insecure and sad about this. My sisters tease me about how he's going to find a Chinese girl during the summer, and even though I know he loves me and reassures me that nothing will happen, I can't help but feel like shit every time I think about it. I don't know what I'm going to do when this time comes. I don't even know what to do right now when I see him every other week.I really need some help. I don't know what to do, guys. :( Thanks for reading.
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 its out of sight out of mind his enjoying his life at school and hasnt got alot of time to think about you, you on the other hand obviously have too much time on your hands to sit there and think of him i think you need to get out there and enjoy your life with your friends and try not to think about him too much.a long distance relationship is a hard thing to maintain and you have to think is it worth holding out for is it something you can deal with as your obviously struggling now with every other week soon yourl have to deal with even less contact i no its hard but maybe you should consider ending the relationship and going your seperate ways talk to your boyfriend and explain how you feel see if there is anything you can do to resolve this situation tell him how unstable you feel
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