New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why does it hurt every time we have sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Every time I have sex it feels like the first time, We sometimes do it 5-6 times in a night and it hurts every time, sometimes he doesn't even put it in all the way, but it still hurts, he says I just have to get used to it but I don't think so, we did it many times and every time feels like the first time.... How long does it take to get use to it?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

wow thanks guys....

lol we do it 5-6 times at a time but we dont do it on a daily basis, I actually do get wet hey so I dont think thats the problem, when Im on top and I have control its a bit better but it still hurts and all I can think about is pleasing him... no we dont use lubrication and no we dont use a condom, lol i dont mastrubate but he knows exactly how to turn me on, I dont let him finger me either because it burns when he does, the only time I really get pleasue is when he goes down on me... well he trys to be gentle. maybe I am a bit scared i dont know his always telling me to relax. yeah weve never used a condom so it cant be that... now Im really worried

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 December 2009):

Honeypie agony auntAs usually I agree full with Satindesire. It is not the amount of sex (5-6 times a day can be JUST fine) but how well "prepared" your body is for it.

It can be you have an infection or irritation to a certain kind of condom/lube. Water Based lube is best BTW. BUT your own natural secretions are better over all so if you do not produce a whole lot, you might not be fully aroused, which can cause pain.

Maybe you need to get an appointment with your GYN.

Also.. If you two try it with YOU on top, so you are fully in control of how deep he penetrates you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (10 December 2009):

Not My Name agony auntWow - 5-6 times daily ..lol. Should that truly be the case well your probably not giving yourself time to recover.

Sounds odd perhaps having been sexually active for 20 years as well as having had a child, but my current partner literally made me feel like I had internal bruising after sex. I had to refrain 4-5 days at a time intially (for the first 4-5 times) just to get over the last round - and he was gentle about it too, natural lubrication, or my relaxation, was definately NOT a problem either. So, umm, maybe, you need to simply back off and let any effects subside in order to feel more comfortable.

Barring virginity, or in my case 'damage' done by childbirth, sex should not hurt, ..and in any case should become more and more comfortable each time.

My first thought tho is lay off the amount of times doing it until your 'bits' are up for handling it. Then again, one may need steel coating to take that sort of use on a daily basis.

Remember - it is quality not quantity that counts!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, TroubledBB Poland +, writes (10 December 2009):

Have you checked to see if you have vaginismus? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus)

Also, your man should not be saying that you should get used to it. Like the other readers said, it could be that you're not aroused enough to produce fluid yet and the lack of lubrication from natural fluids or by lube.

I hope you'll find the key to why you feel sore when having sex!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (10 December 2009):

fishdish agony aunt5-6 times a day, EVERYday? I'd say that you're sore from TOO much sex; first of all, you shouldn't be in pain, so you don't have to get used to that, your partner needs to realize that this is generally a MUTUALLY pleasurable thing not just a "i'm gonna rub 5-6 out in a sad vagina" ; i would take a little sex break, like, a couple days, and see what happens ONCE or TWICE, not 5-6 times. I hope you are able to get him to listen to you say you're in pain instead of this 'suck it up' attitude he's giving you. if you're still in pain after waiting a couple of days, are you really dry, does he not do foreplay on you first? that can be a cause.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009):

the two of you should probably try more lubrication...?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why does it hurt every time we have sex?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0468875999995362!