A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my new boyfriend for only 3 weeks after getting to know each other for about 4 months. He hasn't had a girlfriend or had sex before and he says we can take things as fast or slow as I want. I'm not sure how fast to move things along! To build something real and lasting, is it best to wait a while before getting sex involved? He also says he doesn't care about my past and doesn't need to know anything about it that I don't want to tell him. I've never come across a guy who was that mature about it. It seems strange to me not to tell him about my previous relationships... do you think I should? I don't know if he'd get put off by how much experience I have, when he has none. He knows I was with my last boyfriend for 2 years and that alone seems to boggle his mind enough. (Not that he has a fear of commitment - he's talking love, meeting parents and hinting at marriage down the track). But I don't know what he'd make of my 8 years of dating history. Am I hiding things from him if I don't tell him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): I disagree that not caring about someone's history is equal to being more mature.
Go to a bank loan meeting or a job interview and try telling them to "be more mature" when they ask about your history.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): I think that because he has never really had any past love/relationship/sex experiences he might fell like if you bring up your past that you will be comparing him to your past relationships.
If you want to make a lasting relationship, you need to tell him things that he doesnt want to hear if you think it was something that lead you to become the person that he loves, you owe him that and I think he'll want to know.
If he says that there are certain things that he just straight up doesnt want to know about dont feel like you have to tell him. (spare him the details if possible) If you dont tell him something that you think is important I would say you are hiding something but you xont think it was an important event that made you who you are right now dont feel bad
Good Luck I hope it workd out with you guys
-Meigha
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