A
female
age
36-40,
*asan16
writes:When I was 19 my friend introduced me to her friend from MO through myspace, he was 22 and had a four year old daughter. Him and i became good friends and we felt each other, but could not be together because i live in NJ. Though our relationship was great and i would talk to his daughter and such. He started changing and it was because he met a girl, which i understood because we couldnt be together, so in the end we lost contact. A year later in fall of 2009 we got back in touch. we became good friends again and started catching feelings for each other again. i bought tickets to go see him but as the days approached he became distant again. And i only saw him once the week i was there. When i was back in NJ we lost contact and after a month i found out he got married. I was upset for this but i could not understand why we couldnt be friends even if he was married?. Now that i am 22 and he is 26, we got back in touch. His wife went to visit the country he's from but got stuck there because her visa expired, and he went to visit and just came back. I asked him how was his married life but his reply surprised me. he said he did not know anymore, that things have changed and him and his wife do not keep in touch like they used to, that he loves her but he thinks she is not the right person for him. He tells me he thinks i'm cute and that when i go visit my friend to MO he wants to see me and keep in touch even if his wife comes back, he thinks he is through with her anyways. But he asked that if i knew he is married why do i talk to him, and i said that he is right and i felt bad, but that when he told me things were not working out and didn't push me away i was happy. Now i am confused because i do not know what he wants. I asked him again if he talked to his wife and he said no that he only texed her and i asked if everything was ok and he said that yeah there are no problems. So now i dont know if he is staying with her or if he wants anything with me. though he says to me i can't wait to see you and i wish you were here... can anyone help me?
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female
reader, vasan16 +, writes (10 December 2009):
vasan16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do feel that it's best for me to see what happens. You are right i wouldn't want my husband to go around and hook up with other girls. Thanks so much for your answer...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): honey, you can be friends with him but nothing more until he is officially divorced if that's where it is headed but my friend was in this same situation and the guy never left his wife even though he had been telling her all along that they were having troubles and were going to split up but yeah right come on, I know you'll do the right thing, just think if your husband was out of the country you were in would you want him hanging out and hooking up (if that's the relationship you have) with another one of his friends? I dont think so. Just see what happens with their marriage and then make your decision
Good Luck
-Meigha
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