A
female
age
51-59,
*istressed 87
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been married for 17 years and together for 23 years, I am a devoted wife and mother of 2 adult children m y youngest who is a full time student still resides at home. My husband is lying to me, In 2008 he and I went on our first trip without our children to Jamacia for 7 lovely days at least I thought they were lovely, but as soon as we got home I learned that the first person he called was his girlfriend who I knew nothing about, we spoke on the phone and she she stated she did not know he was married or that he had children. to say the least I was very hurt and put him out of our house, I forgave him and he moved backed in he assured me that he did not sleep with her and I went and got tested for all std'd which thankfully came back negative. So all was good for a while then in 2/10 he was caught again talking with the same woman, and I spoke with her also and advised her that I am not comfortable with her being friends with my husband since I don't know her once again she and he assured me that they are only friends and I advised my husband that I don't like it he assured me that the relationship was just a friendship and nothing more. Now once again I caught him talking with her via Facebook one on one chatting.. He was saying how he was upset that he could not see her today, calling her babe I asked him to leave but he refuses, I told him i want a divorce he refuses, so now we live in the same house in different rooms. financially I'm unable to leave due to my unemployment with nowhere else to go.. Why does he want to stay when it is apparent that he is not happy with me?
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female
reader, Distressed 87 +, writes (7 October 2010):
Distressed 87 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for both responses, I have come to this conclusion also, I know I have to divorce him. and yes my children are aware of what has happened, even the previous occurences.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (7 October 2010):
 I wouldn't say he isn't happy with you, but I would say that you need to end it. He is hurting you. His actions become more deliberate as you find out more, confront him about them, and then he continues this relationship. He can try and refuse a divorce, but ultimately if one person wants it, there are ways to have it put through. I have a good friend who's ex husband refused to sign the paperwork, they still got divorced.
I would recommend contacting an attorney. Make a journal of what you've laid out for us here. There is no reason for you to torture yourself with this man. It is a shame that he's done this to you. Do your kids know about his affair? It might be time that they do.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 If you are a retired Mom who stayed home and raised your children, you may be entitled to spousal support; you certainly are entitled to half of all the marital assets. Consult a lawyer who deals with family law. I'm sorry - he seems to be going through a mid-life crisis; and although I think you both should seek marital counseling together, but Also... YOU should also get advise about your legal rights too.
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