A
female
age
30-35,
*craved Fin
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two months. Just recently we started to get intimate. Last night was the second time we’ve had sex and I’m not sure if i should talk to him or if it’s just sex talk.Before having sex my boyfriend told me he was going to put a ring on my finger Then while having sex is when it got weird. He asked me “are you going to leave me?”I said “no baby”Then he kissed me and said “yes you are they always say that and then leave”Then he said “I’m trying to make love to you, don’t cover up your chest i love your body” “Don’t have sex with nobody else”Then he started asking me again not to leave me that’s when he told me to spell his name out loud.. he did all of that while we were having sex. He does it everytime we have sex
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2020): But how would you rate the sex? What tone is he using? If he going like a jackhammer and saying "are you going to leave me?" or is he just in there whimpering?
My husband says some crazy sh!t during sex, but so do I.
Called him the wrong name by accident. Oops! But he liked that. So I use every friend and neighbor I can think of.
If he's whimpering it, run. Playacting is fun.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (13 September 2020):
 Another post about the same guy saying strange things during sex? What answer are you looking for? What do you WANT to hear?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2020):
 Ok, first of all, you call him " your boyfriend "- are you sure you have assessed the relationship correctly ?
You wrote to DC on August 22nd, then you had just had sex once recently.... The second time only happened now , about 20 days later... I don't know, it does not sound very relationshipy to me, more like an FWB, or a fuck buddy, maybe. Just saying. Just a hunch that I had . Anyway the important thing is not the title or the officiality of your situation, is that you know exactly where you are at, and in what you got yourself into. Do you ?
In your last post, you mentioned that he asked you three times to have unprotected sex . The guy is seriously into his own sexual and sensual gratification ( not that this is wrong per se, of course ). I think there is not much of a mistery, he does and says the things during sex which excite him more, which turn him on more Which make sex better for him. Lots of people find very exciting hearing their name called during sex , it's not unusual. Tons of people prefer to make love with bare- chested women !
The other things he says... it is so obvious that you want us to tell you " he says them because he is so in love with you ! " but alas I don't think it is the case. Or, at least,we do not know enough about you, him and your relationship to deem this eventuality as the most probable; it would take much more than just some words to show that.
My feeling is that this is just his M.O., the way he is used to talk during sex. And, perhaps, that he is also rather disingenuous about that, he seems to say just the right things which can help some naive, impulsive girl to drop her knickers pronto. " I want to put a ring on your finger... "... What, after two months ? If it were true, ! it would not be a good thing, it would mean that he acts on impulses just driven by sexual attraction, since in fact one, generally , before getting engaged, wants to KNOW the other person and find if they are compatible, - so it's not as romantic as it sounds, it's just silly .
Anyway : talk is cheap, - keep having fun, just don't get carried away by words, and certainly keep using condoms AND birth control, until you two do not know each other much better , and he has shown you by his actions that he cares about you as much as his words say .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2020): Scary, controlling, manipulative, narcissistic. Abusive men always move a 'relationship' on VERY fast. They want to tie you down really quickly so that they can start to control you, hence the 'I'm going to put a ring on your finger.' Note also the fact that he didn't ask YOU how YOU felt about having a ring on your finger, he presented it to you as something he was going to do. A very bad sign. TELLING you what's going to happen. Going on about whether or not you're going to leave him. He is hoping that this is going to make you show him how much you like/love him, to quell his 'fears.' He may well follow this up with, 'If you're not going to leave me, why don't we get married/live together?' type scenario. This type of behaviour from a partner, more often a man, is to get you to 'prove' how much you 'like/love' them, by doing what they say.ALL about control. Spelling his name out loud during sex. He is trying to 'train' you to worship him. This man that you are with is bad news. I have been in three abusive relationships, the last one featured a man who used these same type of tactics. Wanted to marry very quickly, wanted me to BEG him to see him again (!) (told him to get lost obviously, this was at the beginning), wanted me to tell him I loved him ALL the time, etc etc.There are loads of abusive tactics that (usually) men use to tie a woman down fast, to be able to control her, to manipulate her so that she becomes an obedient and quiet partner who does everything he wants and her needs are not considered. He has ALREADY done this by TELLING you he's going to put a ring on your finger. Abusive men have a particular mindset about women. We are like pets to them. There to do their bidding, make them happy and know our place. Is that what you want?Read about abuse and the different tactics that are used by abusive people. And then ask yourself,'Why has everyone else left him?' I would advise that you do the same. Sooner rather than later.
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