A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey,My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. The first 5 months were great, he was doing a lot of chasing and making me feel special aaaaallll the time, just like i wanted. He was much much sweeter to me than I was to him. I was being "careful", I didn't want to get hurt so i wasn't giving the relationship anything much at all but he made up for it! At the end of 5 months, we sort of discussed that we are in an exclusive relationship. Since then, he has sort of stopped calling me that much, is less sweet to me than he used to be. But when he does call and we meet and we talk everything is "normal". He is still sweet and caring just not as much as before. We don't communicate as much as we did before because he always used to initiate communication (call or text) but now he doesn't. He expects it to be me most of the time, and him only some of the time. I'm not used to that and i'm not ok with it either. I really don't think there is anything actually wrong, that he doesn't like me anymore or such. I know he still wants me around, but it seems as if he wants me less?? I talked to him about this once but it was online, we were chatting and I was really hyper about it all and I was all pissed off because I had called him and he hadn't answered the phone. Then he took 5 hours to call me back! It had already been bothering me that he doesn't call that often anymore so i guess it wasn't effective because it changed for like a week and now its almost as bad as it was when I first talked to him about it. I guess it is not effective when you talk about what you want from a man online or when you are yelling at him about it! You need to explain in a calm and rational manner right? Even if I wasn't all nice about it how hard is it to understand that i want him to call me at least half of the time and i would call the other half of the time? I think we both have this thing, he thinks I should call and I think he should call. I'm willing to do it just not all the time! I need him to do it too at least half the time. Ok, he used to do it all the time but that time he was chasing! Is it normal for a man's behaviour to change when the chase is over and he knows he has you? And is it ok? And what should i do about the communication thing? (no it is not long distance but we can't meet more than once a week because of certain reasons) The thing is, I need him to call me at least half the time because it makes me feel good. I'm sure it makes him feel good when I call him and I want to have that feeling of being wanted too! I need him to know this but i don't want to sound needy. All these dumb relationship advice books (that i never buy - but they advertise and send emails to you telling you what problems you normally face and then they say that there is a way to solve all of them and its all in their book), yeah so all these emails always say not to sound needy or you'll drive him away! If this continues and I have to be the one calling most or all of the time it will drive me away!! I don't want to be driven away. Is it ok to talk to him about it and tell him how I feel? Any suggestions on how I can do this without coming on too intense but still making the point of how important it is to me? Is it normal for behaviour to change when the chase is over, and he already has you? Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey.. thanks for the answer.. pleaaase send more replies!! so i get more views/suggestions..
A
male
reader, Escalaya  +, writes (2 September 2007):
 It shouldn't matter who really initiates the communication. Hell, my girlfriend's the one who always calls, not because i don't do it, but because she usually beats me to it. Sometimes things do change when the chase is over, but maybe he expects you to put in all the effort, since you yourself said that you'd been holding back. Maybe now HE wants you to be super sweet, and to want YOU to talk to him all the time. I hate doing something so much for my girlfriend, and than she never does it. So i stop doing it as much, until she starts doing it. than i start again.
Why don't you give initiating the communication a lot a chance, and maybe he'll pick up on doing it again.
As for speaking to him about it, just let him know how you feel, do it calmly, and respectfully. Tell him how you feel about it, and ask him why he's changed. Usually things will either change A LOT, or not at all. but there's always varied results as to how it's changed. It could be just a little, or completely different, or exactly the same.
Best of luck, take care.
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