A
male
age
36-40,
*wiss army romance
writes:My best friend is a very attractive girl, I don't consider myself too good looking although she persists on telling me otherwise. The problem is that we recently kissed, quite passionatley on more than one occasion and she declared how she was in love with me. I feel the same way about her, however, she is in a long term relationship and although I dislike her boyfriend and at times they are unhappy she still loves him too. She recently lost a close family member and I just wondered weather it is possible that this is the reason she is now attracted to me? Should I continue as we are or go back to being friends? I do not want to ask her to end it with her boyfriend but we are both unsure about what to do. Please help!
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male
reader, J1124  +, writes (2 September 2007):
 If she is your best friend you might actually be very compatible, but I would be careful because if for some reason the relationship goes wrong it could permanently damage your friendship. I think the best thing you can do is communicate with her that you would like to take your relationship further and see if she agrees. Since she already has a boyfriend. Just let her know you are there for her and that you care about her. IF she really loves the guy she is with it may be harder for her to give him up. After her current relationship she will eventually come to realize your were there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Are you sure you really like her? Because if so, you will need to be a little patient. She has lost someone close to her, and this can make her vulnerable and in need of some attention and affection from others close to her. You have kissed her a few times, she has told you she has feelings for you, and I don't think this shows that she is in love with her boyfriend. In fact it sounds to me like she is ready to break up from him in the not too distant future. You have to tread carefuly here because of her recent loss, but I would continue being a friend and being suportive to her, but don't kiss her again. Tell her that you would love nothing more, but as she is in a relationship it doesn't feel right to do. At the end of the day, if you mean something to her, then this will jolt her into making a decision some time soon, but you will still be a friend to her at present. You need to think about your own wants and needs - you don't want to be messed around, or treated like a doormatt. Be there, but don't be so readily available for her to kiss and show physical affection to. Sometimes, us women like it when a man sets clear boundaries. XX
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A
male
reader, gandalf +, writes (2 September 2007):
I agree in part with the last guy who answered except that normally you would think that if she kissed you she does have pretty deep feelings for you but is confused because she is still in a relationship and probably her conscience kicks in.
Or it could just mean that her grief has left her lost and confused at this present moment
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A
male
reader, Escalaya +, writes (2 September 2007):
 I'd say that you two need to talk about your feelings, and it's up to her to decide whether or not she wants to end it with her boyfriend. Don't interfere with their relationship, as it will take it's course. However, you both are wrong for kissing, while she's committed to a relationship.
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