A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi.i have been with my partner for almost a year now, we still have a loving relationship, we cuddle and kiss all the time still and have a laugh together. the thing is when we have sex he never cums anymore, he hasnt for a while now, he use to all the time. at first i wasn't bothered but now im starting to notice more and it really is bothering me because im thinking maybe because he dont find me attractive anymore? im not sure. he works nights and gets really stressed and tired as he hardly gets alot of sleep, could this be why?. he always seems to like having sex with me, but while i always reach orgasm, i feel bad because he doesn't cum. what does this mean? is he cheating? or dont he find me attractive anymore? i know i should be asking him this but i dont wanna seem selfish asking. why is it that he hasn't cum in ages?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2010): The fact that he "never cums anymore" has absolutely NOTHING to do with whether he loves you or not! Does it mean that he is "cheating?"The answer is that it has absolutely no relevance to this conclusion.
It's a MEDICAL problem. If he is satified having sex with you and you are reaching orgasm then nothing else needs to be questioned!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): He probably doesn't want to risk getting you pregnant. After all, condoms are not 100% against preventing pregnancy. If you are on the pill that is also not 100%.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 No...No...No Dear, Your this saying,"he dont find me attractive anymore? im not sure."... is only feeling of your insecurity. No truth in your feeling. There is nothing serious in his not ejaculating during love making. You yourself feel orgasm, than certainly he is feeling the same orgasm, and felt totally satisfied. For male it is also possible to experience many orgasm before ejaculation.
If he has no love for you, as you fear, then it could be very difficult to kiss and cuddle, than to go for intercourse that end with ejaculation.
Your love affair is perfectly sound and solid, and even satisfactory. Please talk with him about your feeling of pleasure and satisfaction, which is a perfect and logical response.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (11 March 2010):
 Its the stress, been there myself. I expect his sex drive is low, hes probably doing it to please you.
It may be time for a holiday away with him. Stress can have a serious effect on mental health if not careful.
Maybe he has money worries and doesnt want to tell you?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 March 2010):
No, it's not you. He's probably stressed and tired from that work. There are a lot of different things that can affect a man, and it's 99.9% not the woman. On this occasion, given that you've said he's tired, that will be the problem.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 the stress would play a big role. It is hard to orgasm when you are constantly worrying about something else. If he is still very much into having sex with you then I don`t think that he would be cheating. You should ask him about this. Its not be selfish to be concerned with your partners sexual pleasure, not at all selfish. If he did not find you attractive anymore you would notice that he would have a hard time getting an erection so if thats not a problem either I would rule that one out.
That really does leave stress or some sort of external preasure being put on him that is bothering him too much to fully enjoy himself in sex.
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