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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Well a guy I've loved for two years keeps being horrible to me and he blocked me on facebook and he said its because I spoke to him to much. Then my friends mum tried to talk him round. It didn't work as such but he still spoke to me but when he did he was horrible then he removed me again said that I was annoying ugly and he hated me and he said this straight after I told him how i felt about him and then I left it a while then I rang him and apologised for being so annoying and everything and he said he hated me and he didn't want to talk to me anymore so I left it a while and tried again and he said that he didn't like me and he never would and I spoke to mum about it and she approached him about it one day because I was really hurt emotionally and I wouldn't eat wouldn't talk and everything and then he unblocked me again but when I tried to talk to him he would reply slowly and with one word answers and then he just stopped replying all together then on Sunday last week he blocked me again and my friend came around today who's a girl and she was on her Facebook and she showed me messages that he has written about me and my mum and they werent very nice he keeps asking my friend for her number and stuff and it is pretty obvious he fancys her because of you look at the messages he sends her. Anyway yeah that's why I'm upset I care so much about him he couldn't give a care about me he hates me and everything and I can't stop crying I miss him also I'm very sad because he fancys my friend to and I don't know what to do... I've tried getting over him so many times but i can't and I just don't understand why he hates me so much... So do you know why he hates me ?? ( sorry its long )
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012): OP one thing in life that has served me well is this: Only ever give your love to people who have earned it, want it and return it. This guy has done nothing to deserve your love, has shown he doesn't want it and hasn't given you love back.
If at any point of any of the above conditions aren't met you take your love and find someone who meets all the above criteria.
Life's too short and love too precious to just waste it on such people when there are others more than willing to have it, earn it and give it back.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (9 August 2012):
 I know it is not easy, but imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and you had a male admirer that wanted contact and you did not want to be around him/want to talk to him.
No, it doesn't mean you are a bad person, but you have to respect the decisions and opinions of other people whether you like them or not. If you would have respected him in the first place, he might not have such an adverse reaction to you today.
Honestly, I have seen harsh responses and have even given some. These are not harsh responses. These are realistic responses. You wanted some advice and I think you got some great advice. Your friends here have a lot of advice based on their own experiences and what they know about human nature. We all know what it is like to like someone and not have the sentiment returned. It's just something you have to move past.
I remember really liking a guy in high school who was on the football team. I wrote him a couple of notes and put them on his car before two of his big games. He never responded, so I didn't write him anymore notes. It's that simple. If someone is not interested in you, you move forward. Is it hard? Yes, but you can't sit around everyday wondering why one person out of millions did not take an interest in you.
As far as him being nasty on Facebook...he was nasty because you pushed him to that point. He could have been mature about it and just not responded, but you could have been mature and could have stopped contacting him after he did not show interest the first time.
I agree with Anonymous that you should get some counseling for this if it is really upsetting you and feel you cannot handle this alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice.. i didnt realise that i was probably making his life a misery i saw him yesterday when i was with my friend when he saw me he looked away and i looked away and just kept walking.its really hard not to talk to him or go upto him but im trying my best and taking your advice (( by leaving him alone))
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): I think all the people here have been quite harsh on you. You are obviously not a bad person at all and I was in a similar situation to you when I was about 14. Now I just obsess over fictional characters, it's easier. I guess you feel like the only way you can achieve a sense of self-worth is by getting the guy, yeah? The problem is, even if you did get together, the relationship would always be unequal. As hard as it is, you need to try to move on. Ask your friend not to date him and if she does it anyway you should probably distance yourself from both of them for a while and try to meet other people. Tell your friends you don't want to hear anything he might me saying about you, it's only going to give you false hope or upset you.In all seriousness, have you considered seeing a counsellor about this? I'm not saying your crazy or anything but you might find it helpful having someone to talk to, I've seen a lot in my time.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Its a shame your mum spoke to the boy rather than speaking to you about not always getting what you want.
You say you love this boy, not true, you have stalked him, phoned him, written him letters, each time he tells you he is not interested, so what do you do. You do it even more, and you get your friends, their mothers and your mother involved. Think about how horrible you are making his life.
I believe you have written to this site several times before and have been given some good advise about your stalking and obsessive behaviour. You have a problem, whether that problem is something as simple as you being nothing more than a tantrum throwing spoilt brat who doesn't stop until she gets what she wants or a girl with a much more serious problem, this site cannot help you. Talk to your mother again, tell her you need help, not help to get the boy (for God's sake leave him alone!) but professional help to stop your stalking and stop your obsessing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): OP all the ladies who posted before me have been quite gentle in their words and done their best to give you advice without hurting your feelings.
But you know what? As guy OP I can't think of anything more annoying than what you've been doing.
If I was him I would do my best not to hate you but it would be incredibly tough because not only won't you just leave me the hell alone, when I do try to escape your overbearing need to be in constant contact with me you get your friends mom and your mom to give me shit for that and force me to talk to you again. For what? I don't like you in that way, I have nothing to say to you because we can't be friends as you like me too much and for some crazy reason you just won't leave me alone.
What do you want from him OP? (Just to talk to him and be my friend :'( ? gimme a break and grow up) What does this guy have that you need that even your parents are willing to intercede and make him talk to you?
Do I know why he hates you? Yes of course I do and while the other posters didn't say this they probably do too, you're annoying the hell out of him for absolutely no reason at all OP because you're obsessed and you don't care that you're making his life hell you just want what you want and you don't care how he feels.
He's even tried to insult you in order to piss you off enough that you'll leave him alone and it hasn't worked.
Forgive me for being harsh OP but you sound like a psycho, a crazy obsessed young woman that will not stop pursuing this guy even though you know he wants you to. You think you're in pain? OP you're making his life a living hell because you won't let this go.
I'm sorry if my post upset you but you damn well need to hear this and understand you have to walk away and stop contacting him. Not for him, I really don't care about him because you're the one here looking for help.
2 years you've been stuck on this guy and can you remember a time when you even felt happy in life in all that time? This situation is not good for you OP, just liking this guy is causing you pain and your solution to that is to keep him trapped talking to you? Are you crazy?
OP you haven't tried to get over him because getting over someone means cutting all contact and never talking to them again and that's what you have to do.
So yeah I do know why he hates you, because I would hate you too. I would become furious that not only would you not back the hell off but you even get adults to intercede and force me to talk to you because you're upset? I would hate you because that's the actions of a selfish young woman that doesn't give a flying fuck how hard she's making my life and doesn't care how her actions effect me because she wants what she wants and she doesn't care who gets hurt, including herself, to get it.
Walk away OP, you block him, you stop talking to him and you will get over him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2012):
 I don't think he hates you, but for whatever reason he doesn't like you and doesn't want to talk to you, so my question is WHY do you want to be around/social network with a guy like this? He sounds like a total tool!
STOP trying to talk to him on Facebook, BLOCK him and let it go. IF he can't talk nicely to you, then good riddance.
When someone treats you the way this guy is treating you, you need to learn to back away. He is NOT a good person. He is NOT a person you need in your life.
And honestly, having your mom contact him to tell him to talk to you is silly. If someone DO NOT want to talk to you, you need to respect that. Now if he write nasty stuff about you or your family/friends, I would be upset too, but your options are easy, you can block/ignore him and you can REPORT him to Facebook if he continues to write bad stuff about you.
You CAN'T make him like you.
You CAN'T make him want to talk to you.
Chin up.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (3 August 2012):
I agree with the other post here. When someone does not want you to contact him, you need to respect that no matter how much you dislike it. Don't call to apologize, just don't contact him. I am sorry to be so harsh about it, but you must respect people and their decisions.
Also, I think Facebook can be a very fun place to go, but it can also be very hurtful. People post and say things on there they would not say in real life. Sometimes those comments can be crude/hurtful. Try not to view pages of people you know could be hurtful, and get out and make new friends and try some different things. There are a lot of people in this world and I'm sure you will meet someone who really likes and respects you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): Hate is quite extreme and I dont think he hates you, but he is probably very frustrated that no matter how many times he told you to stop contacting him - you would get back in touch again and again. This is a situation where you just have to be mature and cut all contact, so what if he fancies your friend - if she is a good friend she will understand if you ask her not to date him as it will be very awkward for both you and him after all the drama.
Teenage boys are going through puberty too and no matter how much they might try and seem grown up or whatever his over the top aggression and use of words like hate etc... is probably because he has testosterone raging through his system and the body finds it hard to adjust. It is no excuse for his harsh words but you must also respect that if someone tells you they don't want to speak to you, or blocks you on Facebook take the hint that they would prefer no contact. If it was the other way around and a boy you didn't like kept contacting you after telling them not to, blocking them etc... You would probably get a little annoyed too.
Go out with your friends and enjoy yourself instead of getting worked up about something that is out of your control. You can't force someone to like you and the more you try the more they will back away. Just be yourself and forget about this boy, sooner or later you'll like another boy who will like you back : ) good luck x
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