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female
,
anonymous
writes: I need help! I've been with my man for over a year now. He cheated on me several times in the past. I forgave him because he said he'd stop. I believe him only because he's honest and tells me everything. He even admitted with his own mouth he cheated. Well recently he said he had a crush on someone, but I shouldn't take it serious. He is very loving to me but we have bad fall outs and he blames it all on me. Being the jealous man he is and very possessive, I only fall to follow what he says. When I tell him I can't be with him I see in his face he cres and can't be without me. Am I doing the wrong thing still being with him?
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cheated on me, crush, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2006): I know exactly how u feel, apart from my boyfriend never cheated on me. He knew from the moment he met i was bisexual and he ddnt seem to mind at first infact he was quite up for it. But now he is exactly like your boyfriend only worse, he doesnt let me have boy mates and now isn't too keen on me having girl ones either.
Also exactly like yours whenever i say i've had enough he cries and tells me he loves me and that he can't live without me.
So my advice is that neither of us should stand for this anymore, we should tell them both that it needs to stop or they can sling their hook. Well i say goodluck to and i hope both cases don't turn in2 a disaster but it's no fair on either of us.
Yours in hope
Chloe
A
female
reader, loveshoe +, writes (8 April 2006):
It's one thing if he only cheated on you once and was serious about working it out.However, it sounds as if this is an on-going thing, and in his mind somehow, he thinks that it's alright to cheat as long as he tells you about it.Quite honestly, this guy sounds abusive and manipulative... it will hurt to leave him, even if it's bad, but I think it is the right move. I had an ex who was very controlling and made my life a living hell. Things have been so much better since I've left. It will be hard, but I know that you can do it.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Do you feel that you deserve to be treated this way?
Do you think most other women would put up with a man who continually sleeps with other women?
What do you think your future is going to be spending your life with him?.......It'll be hell!
This is a man who preys on your insecurity, you think he's being honest by telling you he has a crush on somebody else, no he's being downright CRUEL!
Of course he is possesive and demanding, men like him are and rarely like the taste of their own medicine, should you cheat on him I bet your feet wouldn't touch the ground, he'd kick you straight to the kerb.
This guy is no good to you or any other woman for that matter, get shot of him now before you waste anymore of your life on this loser!
Sure it won't be easy and it'll hurt like hell, but hurt the once, get him out of your system and move on to better things, if you don't the hurt you're afraid of feeling now will become a regular feature in your future!
He's not worth it, you deserve better!
Good luck.x
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A
female
reader, Suzie767 +, writes (6 April 2006):
 The reason he thinks you are going to cheat is because he does it hiself and natuarlly he expects it of other. To be honest he sounds quite messed up. If he was that bothered about you he wouldt cheat and if he doesnt want you to end it he shouldnt cheat. Just because he is honest doesnt give him a liscence to do wht he likes. My advise is to end it. Let him get on with it. He will probably cheat on the next person 2 so your not missing anything. If he didnt want to lose you he shuldnt be treating you like rubbish
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A
female
reader, past2 +, writes (6 April 2006):
The only answer GUILTY Conscience
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2006): hi, i think ur realationship with him is not worh it, fitstly because he is never have been faithful to you if he actually love you he wouldn't feel the need to stray. secondly, he is a hypocrite he cheats on you and then thinks he has the right to be jealous. that just doesn't work. thirdy, you just seen to be good for him unfortunately you don't see that enough to move on. you are too good even though dep down you know he is a love rat and he abuses it. finally, i know this is easier said than done but you have to be determined to handle this in an adult way and put a don't care approach. you have given him far too many chances and yet he doesn't seem to get it thathe is meant to be with you. my advice is move on and althougn the breakup will be very unsettling you will soon get over it. just enjoy being a single girl and i'm not being patronizing here but the next time you look for a man try not to cling to him. just date him and get to know him better or do the old fashioned courting way nothing goes further than kissing. it will give you time to assess him better get the man a lot keener and be treated like a princess plus you will have a lot of self respect in the process. hope you take my advice to heart and think about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2006): Hi there... I think this guy admits to say *2* out of *10* times he cheats on you!!! And just because he says it 'with his own mouth', you think he is being honest and sincere. But, I'll bet he is upto more cheating than he is talking about!Leave him. He does not deserve you. He has seen that you are tolerant and forgiving and he is taking advantage of you. I can't for the life of me understand how anyone can cheat, confess to cheating and cheat yet again!!!! I hope you will see through this jerk and get rid of him. Good luck sweetheart.
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A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (6 April 2006):
 he is jealous and possesive because he dosent trust you and he dosent trust you because he dosent trust himself , he sees the world through his eyes and his are the eyes of a cheater , my best bet would be to get out of this relationship, honesty or not i would never trust someone who betrayed me or my love for them , it is a dishonest thing to do in itself.
im sure you can find a better happiness with someone else :0)
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Ask yourself. Is all this worth it to you? And do you trust him enough to believe he won't turn one of these crushes into something more? Him being jealous and possesive can be concerning as well.. and he seems to use emotions to manipulate you into staying. I would be hardpressed to tell you to stay, but if you feel that it's worth it, go for it. However, if he cheats again, I wouldn't stay with him no matter how much he pleads you. A honest person wouldn'y do something they said they wouldn't do anymore.
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A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Hey there pet,
From reading your question, I gather that all he is doing is using your love and willingness to forgive.. He does not deserve you to be so caring and forgiving towards him...
When he firstly cheated, I can understand that you would want to forgive and forget but as he does it again and again there is only so much an individual can take, and it is only human nature to be very annoyed and upset when this cheating thing happens...
I myself have been there in the past, and can fully understand what one cheating partner feels like, but to do it agin would be awful.. You need to end this relationship...
What I dont understand is why he admitted it to you, usually in most cases the cheating partner hides these kinds of things, but he openly is admitting it to you as if he is proud of his accomplishment....
You dont deserve this kind of treatment, you have no reason to stay with this man anymore if he is putting you through a lot of pain and heartache...
I hope you can pack up the courage to levae him and see for yourself how much happier you can be without him...
Maybe he feels you will stay longer if he is honest about his cheating and crushes, but he doesnt understand that the basis of a relationship has to have two people and alot of love and affection for this type of caressing..
I understand if you Love him and if he Loves you but Its not what he is showing and therefore its better to let him go..
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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