A
female
age
41-50,
*eapearl
writes:I broke up a year ago with my 6 yrs fiance which was a distant relationship. He had another girlfriend where he lived and when he came for a visit to make the marriage ceremony he created an excuse and suddenly wanted to solve his family problem to make them approve of me! Anyway, i find out the truth that he did not want to be with me becoz he has another girlfriend where he lives and he compared me to her. She was a student dentist, and i had been "waiting" for him to finish his studies to get married. What i accidentally heard when he forgot the line open after he had spoken to me is something i cannot forever forget coming from the mounth of the only man i loved for 10 years and that i waisted years of my youth just waiting for him to finish studies.. He said that his other girlfriend is more educated and ready, beautiful and she loves him, while i want to start college and he needs to teach me this is a gaz station this is a high way!! Knowing that i know iwork in a very respectful company and am beautiful inside out, sexy and faithful (i know myself and as told by all people who know me. The thing he had the chance to break up with me face to face, but instead, he went to his home and broke up with me by an sms, and his girl sends me a facebook message saying that he is a coward and i should stay away from both of them. I was his fiancee for 6 years, but apparantly, i was the OTHER WOMAN!! And later i had discovered tht when he travelled back home, he stole a piece of gold from me, he had made me shop for his girlfriend while he convinced me he was shopping for his family and he had also stollen my money by buying me gifts, and not returning the money i had borrowed him. So it its one of two, stealing my money and making me pay for my gifts. Then i visit the country he lives in and he knows it but i do not contact him so he gets angry and shares photos on messenger of him and his girltogether, and after afew months another pack of pics on msn messger of him with 15 different girls with a 16th pic wearing a tshirt that said, legal sea foods!!!I do not know if he put those pics on purpose for me to see since he was surprised that i didnt call him after we broke up like i did a long time ago when we broke up. My question is, do u think this kind of man regrets hurting a girl too bad while i have done nohtig but waiting for years for him to finish his studies and get married? I treated him with lots of love and fidelty and Hes the one who broke up with me and hurt me so bad so why would he still hurt me if he still can?! If he does regret then why provocing me on sites where we both are members but not on each other's friends list. Do u think when he is on his own, he thinks how bad he hurt me and how ugly he broke up with me? Do u think he will ever realize that?Thank you for your reply, its been exactly a year since the break up, i am so over him and know he doesnt deserve me but i really need to know why would he be the one angry with me and hurting me still. and if he will ever realize the bad treatment and mistakes he's done to me!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 No darling, I don't think he cares about having hurt you , I don't think he will realize it in future, or even that he will give much thought about it- and if he'll have a hint of remorse, he will chase it away and make up something in his mind to confirm that he did the right thing or that you have somehow provoked the break up etc..
Cowards run away from responsibilities,and don't like to be held accountable for the dameges they have done - this guy broke up with you after 6 years by SMS- he is a coward , so he will stay away from regret and remorse or any other unpleasant emotion.
I understand your pain ....but perhaps not your surprise. We are talking about a guy who stole gold and money from you ! Who made you shop for his other girlfriend ! Does this suggest you an honourable, sensitive soul that would be upset for having to hurt your feelings ?....
As for "why does he still want to hurt me ", I don't think he sees it that way, I don't even think, again, that he gave much thought to what can make you happy or unhappy. This is a selfish guy who does whatever feels good at the moment, - it does not sound he is very focused on the impact his actions may have on you, or anybody else. So maybe he did not post those pics on purpose for you- or maybe he did, he just thought it would be fun to ruffle your feathers ! a spur-of-the-moment thing.
But, what do you care ? You sound like a sensible girl and, in all your hurt, you surely understand and appreciate ...that he did you a big favour. Imagine getting married with such a thief . You would have gone to bed at night... not sure you'd find your nightgown and slippers still there in the morning !! Now, luckily for you, it's the other girl who has the problem. She is the one who will have to live with a cheater and a liar !
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