A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am i insecure when me and my boyfriend get into a argument he saids he got somebody else thats better than me he dont want me he dont want to sleep with me im a turn off he just living with me cause i let him. am i wrong for being insecure? Then when he cools off he says he said it to get under my skin but soon as another argument erupts he says it again so i believe it is somebody else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): STOP DATING THIS GUY. He is taking advantage of you. You are only treated badly when you let people treat you badly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Whether it's true or not isn't the issue. Your boyfriend is being emotionaly abusive and if i were you i would leave his pathetic ass. Do you really want to be around somebody who speaks to you like that? Your self esteem will disolve, trust me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Unless you have done something awful to provoke him then he is in fact being pointlessly horrible and making you insecure.
He sounds like a jerk and you sound like you desrce better, he is being mentally abusive and if he does what he wants and damages you enough then you will be caused trouble in future relationships with trust.
He is horrible and you can do better
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): HELL NO!! you have a VERY good reason to insecure with yourself in your relationship. That is very sad, I wonder if he actually has someone or if he is just saying "there is someone better out there" Either way it sucks! You should get away from him! My husband tells me these things all the time when we fight. Saying he has waisted his time with me and could have had someone better. Sucks... and i wish i could get away but i cant. Maybe you can. Best wishes to you!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Because he play dumb games or fights dirty, call it whatever you want..
Honestly that wouldn't fly with me, because I Know in the heat of the moment I would kick him out telling him to GO STAY/LIVE with that "other woman" I don't care if she is a figment of his imagination.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): I put up with the same horrible thing for years he finaly pushed me over the edge and i am now greatful to him as he helped me walk away and start over without him and i am so much happier and it shows
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Oh girl, he may have someone on the side or he just may be controlling and trying to hurt you. But 1st off this way of trying to upset you is unhealthy in the relationship talk about being insecure (what he is saying is causing the insecurity)even if he apologizes later. Fighting of course is normal in any relationship but when it gets to saying I have someone else, etc, etc that's emotionally scarring & of course would make you insecure. So next time he does say it, even though you love him a lot you need to say "THEN GO LIVE WITH HER, NOW! I am tired of it!" Then get on your cell or whatever & text a girlfriend or something & make plans, act like you don't care anymore & that him saying what he is saying every fight is unacceptable & you are putting your foot down this time. Then he should say okay, okay I am sorry or whatever. Then you try to get out of the house if you can or take some by yourself time at home away from him & see what happens after that or say how about I say that BS to you, honey? How would you feel? Good Luck! M
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Whether or not there is someone else, your boyfriend is being cruel, this is considered emotional abuse. Do you really want to put up with this? Don't you think you deserve better? None of us can say for sure whether he does in fact have someone else, but again..WHY are you putting up with this? Certainly you deserve someone to love you, put you first, and not play silly childish games like a 5 year old. Think about what he is doing to you sweetie. My first husband was like this, whenever he got angry at me, he'd say things like "I hate the way you kiss" ect...and then later when he wasn't angry anymore, he'd say "Oh you know I was just playing mind games with you!" He was 19...your guy is older than that I'm assuming, and regardless..both men are jerks. You deserve more than what you are getting.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 November 2010):
 I'd be more than insecure, I'd be royally pissed off at this little ploy. Next time he says he has someone else, tell him to prove it. If he can then show him the door.
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