A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:Alright, this is beginning to annoy me. Alright, so I'm a good looking dude, funny, and I can sing really well too. I get girls phone numbers and then when you call them they don't answer? What is up with that? Why give someone your number then not answer when they call you? I almost feel like whats the point of putting in the effort when the outcome is always less than stellar. Am I being too charming? Not charming enough? And is not just me with this problem. My room mate looks like a model and girls do this to him ALL the time. Why do women not answer when you call or text them? Its driving me nuts!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Hm. That may be one of the main reasons some aren't calling back, actually. They could either think you're trying to cover ulterior motives by acting like you just want to be friends, or they could be the type to lose interest because you're not showing it in more than a platonic sense. Either way it's not likely to work, but regardless of the context, not answering or ever calling you back is a lot nicer and easier than actually saying 'I'm not interested'. A good way to know whether this might happen or not is by waiting to see if the woman wants to exchange numbers rather than just give you hers. It's not foolproof and does have exceptions, but speaking from my own experience, if I'm really interested in someone I'll definitely want a way to contact them in the future rather than leave the ball entirely in their court.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 I stick to my theory :)
You are not the only one who uses the " just a new friend " approach. But it does not make a big difference, in fact it may even be worse, more embarassing. How do you tell a guy, and one who approaches you nicely and respectfully as for that , " I don't want to bother being your friend. I don't want to bother with you at all ".
Ergo,the necessity for escapist tacticts.
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (3 November 2010):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question All good excuses, but I dont approach them as if I'm hitting on them or anything, its way more casual like they're a new friend, which of course you'd hope they're be. So its weird when you get someones number in a strictly platonic way and then they not answer your calls. :/
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (3 November 2010):
All what the other posters say can bue true, anyway there is also a simpler reason .
Girls give out their phone nos. also when they are not even remotely interested.
They should not. But they do.
Why ? Well, easy to figure out . Guy : "Give me your phone no. " Girl : "No. I don't want you to call me ".
Easier said than done. Girls in general are not trained to be so assertive and hardassed, they are thaught to be nice and not hurt people's feelings. And, while surely a girl has the right of not talking to you, a flat out "No " in this context comes out as very hostile. Confrontational. Bitchy.
They are afraid it may lead to an argument , or that you may get mad , or call them stuck up and stuff. All in all, it's something that potentially might spoil a pleasant evening, so they chose a passive aggressive way out. They give you their number, then don't take your calls.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 November 2010):
When you call, do you leave a message or do you hang up? Most women aren't going to return a call to a number they don't recognize. Without a message letting them know who you are, they're more likely to assume it was a wrong number.
If they do know your number or you do leave a message, it could be one of several reasons:
1. She could've been legitimately busy at the time.
2. She doesn't remember you.
3. She remembers you, but isn't interested anymore.
Texting is a bit different, there isn't as much grey area. If she knows it's you and you don't get a text back within a day, she's just not into you. No matter how busy someone is, they can still take the time to reply with something short and simple. It sucks to be ignored, yes, but it's the clearest sign you can get that it's not worth bothering with or wasting time on that person. It's better than getting strung along for weeks, right?
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Could be lots of reasons, maybe they are busy?
Don’t recognize the number so doesn’t answer?
Playing hard to get?
Remember you and don’t want to chat?
Don’t leave it too long to phone them after they give you their number, wait 1 - 2 days maximum.
Don’t seem over enthusiastic and if they don’t answer give it another day, try phoning back a different time of day.
If you still don’t get an answer just give up.
The fact they are giving you their number means your coming across ok to them. If she gives her number too quick then maybe think before you phone her.
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