A
male
age
30-35,
*gmitch
writes:I have this problem,For the last year I have been messed up by a load of different guys. It even got to a stage somebody said to me that they wanted a relationship with me and that they loved me completely and then took it back the next day. After that I was in such a bad place mentally and emotionally and It's just recently I've started to get over it.This is something I've been needing for years. Just to have somebody there and to be able to love somebody is something I've been dreaming of for years.I work in a bar and I used to have a massive crush on my supervisor, he was soo nice and kind and I really tried to be good friends with him. But recently we both saw somebody on the 'scene'. This guy was sooo perfect for me. He is soo good looking and soo kind and friendly and hes just perfect. I told my supervisor about him and ever since things have changed. My supervisor completely ignores me and has been flirting madly with this guy.It really annoys me because my supervisor has just started seeing this other guy. It just feels like he is rubbing in the fact he can try for anybody and he said to me "Whoever I like, I get". It just makes me feel so awful. I really like this guy and I feel like I'm never going to get the chance even to get to know him.After the year I've had I just have no confidence in myself. I'm scared I'm going to get embarressed again and humiliated and I can't go through that again.It just feels like I'm cursed. I've never seen somebody who I like, like me in return and It's just getting to the stage where I've had enough. I just can't keep going on like this. Everyone of my friends has a partner and everytime we all go out it's like I'm the third wheel. I just don't know what to do. I just can't keep going through life being heart broken.
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male
reader, Shadows death  +, writes (23 December 2010):
your supervisor has no confidence in himself. he seeks to hurt others if you arent careful he will hit you emotionally... get some confidence and try to get a feeling for who the supervisor really is. find his weakness and give him hell.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2010): Awww I'm so sorry!! :'( that really sucks what a crappy supervisor and person for doing that to u!!!! You should talk to the guy u like and ignore the supervisor and if he asks wth u think ur doing say I learned from u. Haha that'd be funny. I'm really sorry but I have problems falling in love too. :'( cept imma girl cuz guys r just so complicated sometimes but I guess we are both still young and so I think what I've heard other older ppl saying is that once we have more experience in life it'll be easier.... Yeah I didn't really understand that the first time they told m that but I hope u do!!! And just start talkin to the dude u like and tell ur supervisor, " guess what? Whoever AIYE like I get...thanks fer teachin me!!!" good luck!!
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (22 December 2010):
 your lack of confidence in yourself is a problem, and in reality your supervisor sounds competitive. sometimes you need to believe in yourself or all that will come across is desperation.
this is my problem with gay bars. by definition half the men are drunk and what they say holds little weight in the light of day. get someone's number and ask them out somewhere sober and dont let your supervisor bother you, he is just trying to be dominant over you and i wouldn't let him have much effect on me. just cos words come out of his mouth in an arrogant stream doesn't make them fact- it just means he's full of hot air.
dont let your desire for a relationship blind you to the fact that you are fine on your own and another person in your life is a pleasant addition, not a desperate necessity
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I know how you feel because I have been that person. Don't lose heart whatever you do. There are some girls out there who seem to have no trouble falling into relationships with guys, but that was never me. The ones i liked didn't go for me and the ones dead keen on me i didn't like. I despaired. But one day, out of the blue, this lovely person walked into my life, we are still together many years later with daughters of our own. I say this because I'm sure there are a lot of girls out there just like you. You are not unusual. Please say hopeful.
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A
female
reader, Betty4492 +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Hi Cgmitch. First of all and most importantly, you are not alone. True love is hard to find and for some of us, it does not happen overnight. Here's the good news: you are very young.
First, your boss sounds like a mean loser. I would try and look for another job. Of course, stay at your current job while you're looking but make it your goal to move onto a better job. (Unless your boss quits---Yay!)
I have a gay co-worker who also was having a hard time finding love but he found someone! He's about 35 but man, this guy works out, cycles with a cycling club, involved in politics, etc. He met someone while at a dinner party. But you know what, it happened while he was having fun and busy with his life.
The trick is, don't NEED someone, want someone. We all want love but you have to love yourself first. So go work out, join a club, do what you love to do. A new love should complement your life, not make or break it. Good luck to you.
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