A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 15 and I'm from England. I live in England. If you're English then you'll know that there have been loads of Polish people who have moved over to the UK in the last few years. In my little group of friends there are 4 of us. There was me, an English girl called Charlotte and 2 Polish girls called Emma and Lucy (Not their real names).Emma and Lucy ALWAYS speak Polish and it became a big issue. They were always having their own little private conversations and then me and Charlotte are just sat there, clueless. Charlotte isn't really a big talker, for example I'll say to her "What are you doing tonight, Charlotte?" and she'll just say "I don't know I don't plan my evenings" or she'll reply yes/no or even grunt!They talk English with us but often they speak Polish an awful lot. We'll be in the middle of a group conversation and one of them will turn to the other and say something in Polish, laugh and it just completely kills the mood. I understand that they're Polish and everything but they're in England and should speak English when in the company of English people, right? It's just good manners! They can speak very good English too! Sometimes they'll be speaking Polish and Charlotte will say something and they hear her. One of them may look at her or something, but they just continue to speak Polish. Then I'll say "Emma, Charlotte just asked you a question, answer her!"I used to just sit there but then it got to the point where I would almost find myself in tears. It just frustrates me so much! I'd feel so left out and lonely. So when they set off, I'd just say "SPEAK ENGLISH" and they would speak English, but then it would fade out.They know how it made me feel. I've explained to them that it's incredibly rude and if they are to continue living in England that they should speak English. We had a fall out but they apologized after about a week and spoke like 100% English when we were around them for like 4 days then it fizzled out and went back to normal. Though when they'd speak Polish I'd still say "Speak English".Lucy is the "leader". If she says jump, Emma would say "how high". But Emma lives near me and we often walk my dog together at night when she tells me that she doesn't like Lucy, finds her bossy, rude, unkind etc. Lucy is ALWAYS late for school and sometimes we'll arrange to meet somewhere and she'll turn up sometimes 3 hours late!So like 2 months ago: the 4 of us were stood at break talking. Then they set off talking in Polish, I wait like 20 seconds then I say "SPEAK ENGLISH" This is how it went..ME: "Speak English"LUCY: "Well what if we don't want to?" ME: "Well you're going to have to. You're in England so you speak English. If you want to speak Polish then you should go back to Poland. It's incredibly rude. You can speak English but we can't speak Polish"LUCY: "Well you can speak to Charlotte"ME: "But why can't we all just talk together?"(Can't remember exactly how it went now but some other stuff is said..)LUCY: "You piss us off as well you know!"ME: "What, for telling you to speak English?"LUCY: .... (kinda shrugs her shoulders, I was right)ME: "That's what anyone would do! You just expect us to sit here in silence while you speak Polish?"LUCY: "Well we're not forcing you to sit here"ME: "We're friends, we're not going to be friends if you continue to speak Polish, cos we have no idea whats going on!"Then I mentioned something about Charlotte feeling like she needs to speak Polish herself to speak to them (We've picked up little phrases and stuff) and Lucy just turned to Charlotte and said "You know you can stick up for yourself Charlotte.." But by saying that stuff I am sticking up for Charlotte!! By this time break has finished, I have another group of friends who I go round with now, but they are not very open to "new" people in the group. Those 3 go around together. I haven't talked to them in 2 months. Those 3 sometimes talk to my new group of friends but they're not really in the same classes or anything. Like a week ago, Emma was sat at the same lunch table as me and my friends, she asked me a few questions and stuff. Then like 20 minutes later, Charlotte came over and tried to make conversation. I'm kinda friends with them again but not as we were. But Lucy still hasn't made any effort. I don't plan on becoming friends with her again. Looking back now all she did was disappoint me and they're obviously not very good friends if they let me down like that but it seems as if Lucy is talking to my group of friends more often than she used to. Not to me, but to them. Why is she doing this? When she talks to them I'm just kinda stood there looking at the ground. I think its pretty obvious that shes only talking to them more to kind of make me think "Oh I want to be her friend again" sort of thing but they can't see that. I don't really have much in common with this group of friends, but I have more classes with them.What should I do about it? Please help. I don't want to be friends with Lucy anymore, unless she changes her ways but I know that a leopard doesn't change its spots..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): If your "friends" refuse to speak English then they're not your friends. They're very disrepectful. I don't think they're interested in talking with you anyway, so stop talking to them. You and Charlotte should just hang out together and/or find new REAL friends. Good luck!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 June 2012):
 These people are cutting you off their conversations. I think you don't do that to friends. If they refuse to talk to you, then don't hang out with them.
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