A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay so i have been married for soo little now i bearly ahve a year with my husband i have a newborn and ever since we got married hes lied to me 1st he went to texas with his family while we were engaged and met girl #1 and gave him her number and they talked alot all day at work i caught him he said he was sorry i forgave him and that was that. the second time was last august 2011 when we started our second semester of college and he saw his ex girlfriend and while i was in class they would meet and make out i know because one day i confronted her and she told me he had said he wasnt married and they would see eachother have lunch etc. the third time was with a girl from church this time he did sleep with her and i found out i forgave him because my child was on the way. the fouth time i had alreday had my child he was so inlove as whatr i read in his emails he told girl#4 he loved her he wanted to be with her and new years eve 2011 they made it official. and now i just found out he is texting a "friend from work" and he says its nothing but i know its something since he always erases mssges on his phone and today a messege came in and it said "i miss you too bye". what do i do? plz help i thought i had married a great person but i didint if i leave him i wont make it on my own with two children and not even finished college plz what do i do how can i make him suffer the way i suffered how do i make him understand everything?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 June 2012):
 so you are married a year with a baby... did you get married because you were pregnant?
he sounds much like my ex husband who could not bear to have the attention of only one woman... he needed the ego stroke of many women wanting him... but would not cope with the roles reversed and my being wanted and with other men so the marriage ended.
are there parents or family that can help you?
you will have to get child support from him for his child
what about the other child do you get CS from that baby's daddy? you should...
you can't make him understand because he has to know he's wrong... he understands he's wrong because he hides it from you.
I think you need to accept that he's not ready to be married and end the marriage and the relationship between the two of you (but not him and the child)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): i would get out of this one.think of it as the first marriage to the wrong guy and you had enough sense to get out of it early on.A one year marriage and you called him out on cheating 4 or 5 times?if you are still in college have a look into their childcare arrangements.as you are married if you divorce you can look into alimony/child maintenance payments.i wouldn't normally suggest you end your marriage, but you caught him out so many times in such a short time, and in the first year of your marriage i can't see him turning down an opportunity to cheat on you.a year from now you could well have a completely new life with a new partner and be enjoying all of those things you yearn for now, don't put it off. if nothing else looking into a divorce might just wake him up, if not just put it down to experience and wait for a longer while before you get hitched next time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): It doesn't sound like your guy really wanted to be married. All I can say is what he is doing is wrong. If you genuinely care about your spouse, you would not be spending your time talking to members of the opposite sex for any length of time. Sure, at work and such about WORK matters, but not about personal matters. With that being said, his behavior shows he doesn't respect you. Is there anyone in your family you could stay with for a short time to get away from him? I think you should work on making a plan to leave him. It might take some time, but you should start preparing.
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