A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is really personal, but I think I need a little advice in this area. I'm still a virgin, which is shocking to some people. I'm 20 which isn't that bad but in my generation isn't very common or even looked at as a good thing, its almost abnormal. I have been waiting for the right person, not necessarily marriage but definately a committed relationship. But I have doubts that I will find anything like that or anything like it in the near future. I waited this long so I don't just want to throw it away to just any guy but to be honset I'm getting a little tired of waiting. I made the mistake of walking away from a good guy once, and I'm just now realizing they are in short supply. I met a new guy but I have my doubts about him and he seems like he is playing a lot of mind games. There are times when I think that I should just get it over with, but in all honesty that doesn't seem like it is the best mind set. Even though the topic of sex has come up before I haven't done anything yet. Even though it is something that I do want to expirence one day, its hard trying to figure out when the time is right. I'm trying not to get caught up in the whole idea of prince charming sweeping me off my feet but I don't to give it up to someone who will only see me as an object. Am I doing the right thing or what?
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (24 June 2012):
Both my wife and I were 23 when we exchanged virginity (I gave her mine, and she responded by giving hers) on our wedding night. That was almost 38 years ago.
(And don't give much attention to the differences between the "current generation" and "previous generations". The baby boomers - who are at least your parents' generation, perhaps even your grandparents' - are the ones who made Woodstock - who declared the "Summer of Love" - who declared "If it feels good, DO IT!" - who coined the phrase "Drugs, Sex, and Rock-and-roll". )
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): Let me just say this first, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A 20 YEAR OLD VIRGIN!!!! I'm 23 and I've never had sex. It doesn't bother me at all. You shouldn't feel awkward because youdont have a long line of people you've f****d. You will find the right person eventually. Believe me. I waited 23 years, and a guy I had known since junior high asked me out. I used to feel like you, wondering what was up and why no one had asked me out or tried to get with me. Then My boyfriend came back into my life and he liked me for me. I'm glad I Waited all these years because when we do finally have sex we will be each others first. My advice: wait until you find someone who wants you for your mind first not just for a booty call because you will end up feeling horrible about yourself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2012): You think it's bad being a virgin at 20! Well I am a 40 year old virgin, and I can tell you that when I was growing up in the late 1980's people where just as bad at looking down at someone who was still a virgin. And THAT was in the 80's when all the news was - DO NOT HAVE SEX - YOU WILL DIE OF AIDS!
When I got to age 30 , I just didn't care anymore! I think it is good to be a virgin!
BEST WISHES - JOHN :
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 June 2012):
There are so many posts on this web site from people in their twenties who are still virgins; it's really not that uncommon as you think. I myself was a virgin until 22 (I'm 24 now) and I'm happy I waited for the right person to lose it to. My first time was pleasant because of that and not something I rushed into and regretted like most of my friends. Just take your time OP and don't be desperate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for all your responses they really helped to clear my mind, and reassure me that I'm doing the right thing by waiting.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): no you are doing the right thing, waiting for a man that is willing to marry you is something that you should do...think of it this way you give yourself to a guy you think your in love with and maybe somehow you get pregnant...how are you supposed to know he will stay with you and that baby if he isn't committed to you in marriage.if he isn't willing to put the extra effort into marriage then he IS using you as an object...the man you will marry should be willing to pursue you like a man searching for water in a desert--got that out of a novel i would recommend you read Bailey Flannigan series by Karen Kingsbury.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (8 June 2012):
If you look through older threads you can find a lot of good comments on this question. For example, "Still a Virgin at 28 years old and I want to get rid of it." at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/still-a-virgin-at-28-years-old-and.html .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): Don't doubt yourself. Up until a couple of months ago I was a 22 year old virgin so you're not strange at all and I lost my virginity to the most caring man ever. All you need to know is that you feel ready and it should be with someone you care for and love. When you are in a relationship remember always be safe unless you are ready for an unwanted pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with waiting, focus on other things and the right man will come along who you will have no doubt in your mind that you're willing to take the relationship further.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (8 June 2012):
 You sound frustrated. I lost mine at 25 to a prostitute and have no regrets. I was pissed too about feeling left out and having solid morals and ethics in the end I felt weird ridiculed and abnormal and not strong enuff mentally to combat such criticism. Make it a logical decision thats what I will advise. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, JB.  +, writes (8 June 2012):
Do not just rush into it. Losing your virginity is no big deal and if you just throw it away with somebody who you don't really care for it will not be that much of a special experience.
Being a virgin at your age isn't that unusual. I have a fair few friends just a year younger than you that are still virgins too. It's something to be proud of, honestly. It shows you were sensible and didn't just throw away a special moment as a teenager when your weren't so matured.
Now you are older and know your own mind more it is better. Just wait for the right person and do not feel any pressure about rushing into things.
It is better to wait for the right person and make the moment special, rather than just doing it to get it out of the way.
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