A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do some people not say hi back, especially in work or social situation?I was told once to always say hi as i walk into work or in a social situation and im introverted, saying hi is hard but i do! So why do colleagues and some others ignore me / people when i / they say hi? Rudeness? Not liking saying hi? Why do people ignore pleasantries? If i didnt say hi would i be thought of as rude?Is saying hi too much?Help!! Dont want to appear desperate or needy or rude, does saying hi depend on age of person?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2016): Don't put so much thought into it. I work at a hotel where everyone is friendly to me. However, there is one person there I just don't care for, the maintenance guy. I sense that he's full of himself, but I don't know for sure because I don't even know him. It does affect how I act when he's around, though. I'll pretend not to see him rather than say hi to him. So that is my reason for not responding to someone's hi. This rarely occurs. In general, I'm pretty friendly. Just every now and then, I'll come across someone I don't like. They rub me the wrong way. So I instead focus on the people I do like, which are the majority. There are a number of reasons someone may not respond to pleasantries. They are shy and/or introverted, they don't know you so they feel awkward, they're having a bad day, they're in their own little world and don't feel like interacting with people, or they don't like you. No matter what the reason, though, it's better to not analyze it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2016): I have the same problem. I was saying hi to everyone at work or good morning.This girl who is a lower level "manager" just look in to my eyes with a fake half a smile and never responded back to me so at the beginning I tought it's me then my coworker said the same thing about this girl and we noticed that when she sees other managers it's totally different! says hi and good morning and even she chats! so we stop saying hi and bye altogether and guess what now she is the one who says hi! There are couple of others and I don't even bother to say hi anymore. You should just ignore them. Since I have ignored them they are more friendly and polite!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 June 2016):
 I have lived in several countries and visited a bunch more, and some of it is cultural, some is about manner and some are just routines that have worked their way into a work environment.
Either stick to being you. Do what you feel is right FOR you. If you want to say hi, say hi but don't expect a greeting back. Or go for the less challenging, flash a smile a nod and continue on. Or you can try and mimic the people around you, do as they do see if that makes a difference.
I have never worked in an environment where people didn't say hi, hello or how are you? BUT it was never everyone all the time. Some were perfectly fine with a nod or a smile. I think it's all about situational awareness and manners.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): Ever find yourself in a public place and see somebody you know and they know you but they PRETEND NOT TO SEE YOU??? Happens all the time!!!
People are STRANGE!!!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 June 2016):
 Some people haven't been brought up well enough to have manners.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (29 June 2016):
 Many reasons. Age, bad manners, didn't hear you, arrogant, dont like you. I find my self in the same situation as you. I will always say Hi, Morning, smile whatever and whether or not I get a response no longer bothers me, used to-a lot, what matters to me is that I chose to be pleasant and by doing so they hi light themselves as being ill mannered. Just keep on keeping on
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 June 2016):
 No. It depends from the environment- habits- current code of conduct - general context.
When I lived in L.A., I had to re-train myself quick to sai " hi " to strangers in the street, or respond to their " hi " . Maybe because pedestrians are so rare there !, when you cross one on the sidewalk, he'll smile and say " hi " - which gave me a jolt at first. Because the rule where I grew up - Northern Italy- is exactly the opposite. You don't greet people you don't know and you haven't been introduced to- it 's considered , if not downright rude, pushy and inappropriate.
Apparently you have chanced in a " no hi " area . For whatever reasons of theirs, one of which may be rudeness but not necessarily it is ,your colleagues disposed of pleasantries and follow a no-hi policy. I don't think it's personal- I'd be very surprised if they all greeted everybody else - and stopped the day you arrived. It has nothing to do with you or your age.
Of course, it also depends from exactly how many people ignored your " hi ". If it happened a couple of times, these individuals were either rude, or maybe just distracted or in a very foul mood that day . So you can continue with your " hi "s knowing that in general , with a few random exceptions, they are well accepted,liked and reciprocated.
If nobody ever answers your " hi "- then for some reason, as lamentable as it may be, that's the policy of the place. You are free to either adjust to it , if it's more convenient for you, or to stick to the rules you grew up with.
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