A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Firstly I want to start by saying that I am not a prude at all, I have no problem with pornography and stuff like that, I'm very open when it comes to things like that. I've even taken my boyfriend to a strip club before.But I've been with my partner for nearly four years now and his jealousy is getting out of control. Three years ago I went out for a drink with him and he noticed some guy I know looking down my top at my cleavage. My boobs are quite big so I'm kind of used to men being that way. I don't like it or try and get people to do it but of course it sometimes happens.My sisters wedding is next month but my boyfriend can't make it and the man that was looking at my cleavage three years ago will be at this wedding. He's making my life miserable for it and it's making me dread the day which is awful as it's my twin sister and it should be something to be looking forward to.He's not coming to her wedding but he's going to Amsterdam with his father for his birthday. He's told me he will go and check out the red light district. I don't think he'd ever go and see a prostitute, his dad will be with him for a start so that'd be weird anyway! But he finds there is no problem with him looking at these girls in the windows yet he is going crazy with jealousy about other men looking at me.So the point I'm trying to make about it all is if he hates other men looking at me why does he find it ok for him to go and look at other women. He doesn't get what I'm saying at all about it. Do you think I have a point with what I'm saying?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): Yeah, typical alright.Such a double standard.Men would whine and cry if their girlfriend so much as talked to another guy but they expect us to put up with their behaviour!He is overly jealous. This is a problem. It is normal to have pangs of jealousy here or there in a relationship but not as a way of manipulating or controlling your partner's life or actions.My boyfriend is also in the red light district this week! LMAO He is with his family. Don't ask! And I know he is going there to ogle the women. I don't really give a crap to be honest. They aren't ME. And never will be. He is just doing what millions of tourists do. Seeing what all the hoopla is about. Stare. Laugh. And so what if some of them are attractive? It's just a touristy experience. He would be too darned CHEAP to hire a prostitute anyway! I can rest assured of that! ;) Point is that I am home alone. He is there. He has texted me to be a good girl while he is away. And he is the one in the red light district? LMAO Yeah, funny! Even though I know nothing will happen, it takes a lot of nerve to tell me to be good! I KNOW I WILL BE!So, just know guys are like this. They hate that their sexual property is being eyed by competitors. They are very sexually possessive by nature. Just the way it goes. So are women. I think equally sexually possessive. But that's the thing. Do they think they OWN us? OWN our bodies? I mean, is this a relationship or ownership? There IS a difference.In relationships, we TRUST our partners or SHOULD. Sure, we don't trust OTHER people but if we TRUST our partners, then others can try and try again but they will never succeed. How can your boyfriend NOT know this?
A
male
reader, DarrellG +, writes (29 June 2016):
 Total double standard on his part and exhibits a slightly controlling streak. I disagree with others when they say this is not worth a fight over, I wouldnt fight over it but you do need to put down a marker and set some boundaries because if you dont this kind of thing can get out of hand.
Try not to be too confrontational though because that will just antagonise him even further - instead be firm but reassuring, remind him that you cant exactly control what other people do and think but that its only his attention you want and only him you want. Be firm but fair.
Do nip this in the bud though before it gets out of hand.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): I would not want to stay with this man a minute longer, he obviously likes tormenting you and basically what he is trying to say is if you to to the wedding then he is going to punish you. Sad immature person he is.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (29 June 2016):
 A- hem...Amsterdam...!!!! and he has a problem with a guy from 3 years ago that looked at your tits, oh p..lease. It is not fair of him to be carrying on to such a degree over something as trivial, so much so it is putting a dampener on things for you. Time for him to toughen up and stop being a princess and trust in you like you do him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2016): I think I need to add a little bit of extra info with this. I have an Instagram account and he's gotten so upset about some people liking my photos that he's made me block them for even just liking a picture of me. I used to have Facebook but in the end I got so fed up because he would message men who commented in my statuses or again like my photos that I deleted my account. So I guess he's so uptight about even strangers who have never met me or would never have the chance to be in my company and make moves on me.It wouldn't bother me all that much if he did go to the red light district just to look, but my point is that he can't even handle strangers liking a photo of me on Instagram but he thinks it's o.k to look at prostitutes while he's away. I have tried to reassure him but at the end of the day it's not my fault this man did it, I can't tell my sisters fiance not to invite him, I can't not go to my twin sisters wedding and all he's doing is getting really annoyed by it all, while he will be going to ogle naked ladies himself.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 June 2016):
 He does not get your point , because he knows that anyway all he can/will do is to look at these women through a glass partition. While your boobs' ogler, in absence of your bf, can not only ogle your boobs, but approach you, and try and flirt with you, and dance with you, and put the moves on you . It will be a much more interactive situation. And your objection that you have no intention to cheat on him with this guy or to act in anyway inappropriate, is a moot point._ I think your bf would typically answer that he trusts you, but does not trust that guy :).
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