A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I guess I am just an old fashioned girl.I have been married twice/divorced twice and am in a relationship with a wonderful man right now. We are both in our mid forties.To me, "sex" is about intimacy and love. It is about sharing the most personal part of yourself with someone you love and who loves you. It is the most personal expression of love. Orgasm is a wonderful side-effect of a beautiful expression of love-but it's not the only goal. To me, the turn on mechanism stems from the love I feel toward my man and the desire I feel toward him sexually. I do not find myself "turned on" when I'm home alone. I don't find myself feeling the need to "get off" because I saw some good looking guy on TV.I have no ill will toward a man (or a woman) masturbating. I realize each person has their own drive and it's not always equally matched with their mate. I can totally understand that a man might masturbate if he's particularly "horny" and his woman is away, menstruating, pregnant or has some other reason for not being able to be active when he wants to. And I can completely understand a woman masturbating if her man is away, having erectile issues or if she didn't orgasm during sex and still "feels it". I can think there are many reasons a man or woman might feel the need to relieve themselves or even pleasure themselves for the fun of it.Here's where I turn really old fashioned: I do not understand why a man will purposely seek out porn and purposely turn himself on when he has a real live flesh and blood, sexy, horny woman available.Why would anyone prefer porn over the real thing?
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (15 August 2011):
 Why would anyone prefer porn over the real thing?
Most probably the real thing doesn't satisfy him. The real thing is not what he wishes to have but he can't have what he wants because either there's nothing available or he has very high expectations. Or he is just a very selfish and immature character and doesn't know to appreciate what he has.
A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Hey, Well you see porn promotes a level of fantasy. For instance a man might have a fetish lets just say a bondage fetish or something along those lines.
And maybe he's to insecure to tell his wife he has that fetish or maybe he doesnt want to or maybe his wife would never do anything like that, and you see thats when you can go on the computer look somthing up in seconds and find somthing that will instantly "float your boat".
Porn is not real, it doesnt express the love people share and is complete un-realistic. The women will do anything normanally have the "perfect" bodys and the men are studs who penis's are about the size of there arms and act all macho.
I know a common case is a women/man will refuse to do somthing sexually like Bondage, four play etc with there partner in bed so they will seek satisfaction from porn. Also there are alot of people who watch porn just because they like looking and jerking off and dreaming of screwing someone else except there partner.
I do think porn is a bad thing unless your mature enough to handle it, there has been articles and a program about teenage boys who watched porn and when they got the real thing they were extreamly dissapointed. This is only because in porn the women are express as nymphomanics who will let you do anything where ever you want it how you want it which in real life doesnt work like that. Just another way media is ruining socity.
Also one of the most common reasons is sex requires a big amount of "effort" and sometimes mostly men but somtimes women see it so much easyier just to masturbate to porn instead of get into the act. Anyway there is still hope left i'm young but i have completely the same opinion as you :D Hope this helpsx x
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (14 August 2011):
 first off you could not be more right in your sentiment about how personal sex is. Thank you for sharing this very welcome perspective on an often overlooked subject
Porn is like McDonalds - you can find just about anything you are in the mood for. With the internet, Porn is beamed right into the house so if you can imagine McDonalds offering delivery.
My opinion is that what motivates a porn surfer is curiosity rather than some antipathy toward the partner probably not more than 10 feet from them.
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A
male
reader, pup1234 +, writes (14 August 2011):
 hi, men some times need to these things, we dont use dildos, but men do watch porn, i do, if it is efecting you love life maybe he is not feeling good about him self,ask him, talk to him, men. and i know iam one)( find it so hard to tell how they feel x
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