A
female
age
26-29,
*andyCurves
writes: I've had people telling me that I cant "like" other people from different cultural/racial background. I don't understand why because as far as I'm concerned getting to know the individual is far more important. E.g The guy I like is mixed race (half white and Indian), I'm a young black (African) female and people think it's strange that we're together.I've dated black guys, white guys and Asians guys- pretty open minded. But why do people stare?I sometimes have to put up with my ignorant peers (who are mostly black) who think its a DISGRACE for black girls to not consider the "black man". They don't understand why I'm not attracted to black guys, they think there is something wrong with me.Right now, I'm put off black guys as all I ever hear from some of them is how they prefer white girls blah blah blah. I'm sick of hearing stereotypes saying "ALL dark skin girls are ugly, black girls have BAD HAIR, black girls have bad attitudes" and more degrading stuff.I understand that everyone is entitled to an opinion but why do men from my own race put down their women?More importantly why is it ok for black guy to date outside his race, why cant I? Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Love is more then skin deep. Date whom your heart, mind and soul wants to date and screw the comments.
A
female
reader, CandyCurves +, writes (22 January 2012):
CandyCurves is verified as being by the original poster of the question Response to IamHeretoHelpYou & AuntieSuzie: I understand where you are coming from here, that is a good point to make .However I just wanted to clarify that I didn't mean to generalize all black men of course,that's why I put "sometimes ". I know I have been unlucky to meet some shallow people but that doesn't mean I will turn a blind eye like them. Like I previously stated its the individual himself that matters , so if I happen to meet an open minded black guy in the future- That would be just as cool. But thank you for your comments, they have been supportive as well as challenging!
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Unfortunately you will soon have to learn to ignore the stares and comments, otherwise you will go crazy.
Also, try not to use the word 'race', as I believe white, Asian, Indian, Oceanic, black and all the shades of colour in between are all of the human variety.
It really shouldn't matter to anyone else what your partner looks like, as long as you are happy.
I am older than you, and in the past I lived in London, in some areas where people in 'mixed' relationships ran a daily gauntlet of insults and occasional violence. Peoples attitudes have not changed much, they just don't verbalise their thoughts as often.
You simply have to realise that elements of both the black and white communities will feel threatened or disturbed by mixed relationships. Its easy for me to say don't worry, but please, don't worry!
You need to do the things in life that will make YOU happy, not your community, and if that means a 'mixed' relationship, then so be it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 Aren't you doing the same as those you are talking about, by putting all 'black guys' into the same category, and not considering dating them? Just an observation, not a judgement!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (21 January 2012):
 To fullow up my previous answer, when I was your age it was considered okay for white men to date black or asian girls but taboo for white women (girls) to date black men, who were considered to be less intelligent and less capable of supporting a woman. (I have a medical book here, it states women and men have equal intelligence, but in a marriage, smart women realise they are over emotional and so they let the men make the big decisions).
I am SO thankful the world has moved on from those mind sets. The human race is ever evolving, one day we will get to a point where colour, race and nationality will not be so divisive.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (21 January 2012):
I agree with the other answers, as for your ignorant peers, tell them to enjoy the 1950s - you, in the meantime, have moved on to the 21st century and their attitudes are holding them back.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (21 January 2012):
Totally agree with Starlights. You have to date the guy you like, no matter his race. Some people think that race make people different, but the only difference is physical. Every person has the same value, no matter his/her race.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (21 January 2012):
 Its perfectly fine for you to date who you want.
Those who judge you have limited minds and limited concepts. They are ignorant and rascist who will give a bunch of excuses to back up their claims.
Ignore them.
If your happy with your man ignore those who are envious or wish to upset you.
Dont let their thoughts effect your life or your beliefs. Ignore them. Put it down to their ignorance and forgive them. Dont discuss this conversation with them. They will never see your point of view until they are ready to do so.
What makes people good is the quality of their heart, not the colour of their skin.
Goodluck!
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