A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm15, and I'm so sick of hearing about people my age losing their virginity!!! I mean, what happened to losing it on your wedding night?? I just want to know why people have decided that it's soooo important to have sex in a relationship? I don't hate my friends, I just hate seeing their relationships destroyed because they have sex with some loser who's just trying to score. I just want to understand why. Thanks
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Wow DanceintheDark, you're very mature at 15.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): We tell teenage girls they are mature, which is total bullshit. So they try and act mature. Which just gets them used by a few dirtbag boys. Eventually the rest of the boys start noticing that being a dirtbag is rewarded and doing what's right is not. So they all start acting like dirtbags. Nobody ever gives boys an incentive to act right and nobody ever tells the girls to take any responsibility for their stupid mistakes. The world keeps going round and round.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 The reason you friends break up is because they are "playing" at relationships so young. They arnt real, even if they think it is. I remember being 15 and how everything at school revolved around who is going out with who and who is a virgin and who is having sex. Its just one big parade for popularity and to fit in and be the "most mature". Because that is what is cool at school. Boys want sex because of what they have seen in porn. Girls want sex because of what they have seen in RomComs; fall in love after sex. None of this is true; so they break up because relationships aren't what they imagine them to be.
I'm in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years and we have sex all the time. We aren't going to get married, because neither of us want to. You don't need to be married to have a loving and committed long term relationship.
When you and your friends get older, you will see how silly those young teen flings are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): hi, this is the op. rereading this, I noticed that I sounded a bit rude and judgemental, and I'm sorry. although I believe sex is meant for marriage, I don't believe I have any right to judge anyone. I simply wanted to understand the reason behind losing virginity. I've seen my friends have break up pain multiplied when they had sex. thank you for your replies they helped me understand the why behind it all! I know how hard it is to wait and I don't judge those who don't I'm sorry if It seemed so.thans all
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A
female
reader, Sadaqah +, writes (4 November 2010):
Dear Anonymous,
You can't hold everyone up to the same standards that you live by. People don't live by the same rules and expecting them to is a tad unrealistic. I'd say you should encourage your friends to make the same choices you do but don't look down on them if they don't, it's their personal choice.
Sincerely,
Sadaqah
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 November 2010):
You and me both!!
I agree if they're your age range they shouldn't be consenting to sex until they are of legal age to do so which is 16-18 varies per state. Not to mention they're not mature enough to engage in intercourse. They have sex for various reasons, they're being pressured by their jerk boyfriend, or by their friends who have already all lost theirs so they don't want to be the odd one out, to fit in, and because they think they're in love which is actually infatuation.
Now when you're older out of your teens, more mature, understand the need for contraceptives, know the risks of getting STDS or pregnant, and are ready to engage in meaningful relationships then that's the time when sex is important. You have sex with someone you actually care for, and love..that's when it has meaning behind it. For some, a satisfying, healthy sex life is very pertinent to a relationship. To be able to connect intimately in the bedroom, now that's way more than just sex.
Some may value virginity, hold out and remain celibate till marriage. Others wait till the find someone they love or think they love and give it to them. Then there's the ones that lose it just because an opportunity arose. Lastly, there's the guys that go after the girl just to rob her of her innocence and leave because mission is accomplished.
To sum it all up, sex isn't important when you're a teen because you can't fully grasp the concept of what sex really is. Only when you're older and more mature do you really start to get the idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): im 15 and i lose my virginity when i was 14. i really really really REGRET loosing it before marriage because it wasn't worth it! the reason why i lost it because of PEER PRESSURE! everyone else around me was doing it so they influenced me to do it also. don't get caught up and regret it like me.and believe me sex can destroying a relationship/friendship in a good or bad way.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Well at 15,
a lot of the time people do it because they want to feel wanted, the girls want to the boy to love them, and they think sex is the way to get it.
And why sex is important in a relationship? well in a more mature relationship, sex is an act of intimacy and love, it's the closest you can be to someone.
I can understand why you would be sick of hearing people your age losing their virginity. A lot of the time they aren't mature enough to even grasp what sex is, and the consequences. They're mainly just charged with hormones, and can be confusing love with lust.
While I don't think you have to be married to have sex, I do think you should be older and more mature, and in a loving relationship.
If you want to wait until marriage, it's your choice, and don't let anybody tell you other wise.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:) +, writes (4 November 2010):
 It must be hurtful to see your friends being so annoying. I don't want to call them pathetic but if at your age my friends were being that naive and used that's what id have thought if them.
It's very easy to judge (like I just did) but try and avoid confrontation because you might meet a guy who you really love and have to stick to your principles and will hold yourself back because of your Tongue.
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