A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend always talks about sex and always wants it.. we cant even be alone without having sex for a day! we have been together for a little over a year. is he just with me for sex? i asked him and he said no and gave me reasons why he is not... but it feels like he is... how can i get him to do and talk about other things then just that? i mean we used to go do stuff and just hang around being alone without doing that but now its all we ever do! its making me feel bad about myself.. any advice? please and thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Is he your age (18-21)? Then of course he wants sex all the time. Duh.Does he remember your birthday? Does he offer to pick you up when your car is broken down? Does he clean up before you come over? If he does stuff like this then for a 21 year old, he's definitely showing he cares. (As he gets older, he should get better at this but for now it's a start.)And sure, he wants to have sex. Enjoy it now because by the time he's 30 you'll want it every day but he'll be lucky to want it more than three times/week.Or just get an older boyfriend now. He'll buy more flowers and want less sex. Then date a 21-year-old when you're 30 and hot to trot.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): I don't think he is as I doubt he'd still be with you or want a relationship with you at all.
Why don't you just say no to him? Say you're not really in the mood and you'd like to do other things on that day -- Such as watching films, going the cinema, having a nice conversation together.
Don't have sex with him every time he asks, let him wait. You'll then find out your answer.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 I don't think he is using you for sex. If he only wanted sex he wouldn't be in a relationship with you, and certainly not for over a year. How is the rest of your relationship? Is it good?
I think this is just a matter of different sex drives. He wants lots of sex, and you are more modest. You don't need it every day.
I don't think you should be afraid of there being too much sex. A lot of sex in a relationship I think is a good sign of attraction being there, and you being active together. As long as you enjoy it, and don't feel pressured into it, it's all good. However you can have sex and still do other things.
Talk to him about it. Then mention some things you want to do that you feel sex has taken priority over. See if you can't have it both ways, you getting to go do the fun things with him that you enjoy, and him getting to enjoy the physical side of the relationship with you. As long as you both enjoy it you both win.
I want to ask something though, do you only meet up for sex and then he leaves? Or what do you use the time together on? Is it that the sex actually prevents you from doing other things? Or is it that sex is the only thing you do, and you want him to be active with you in other things, and at other levels, as well?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 November 2010):
Unfortunately, he's a young man who's been let off the leash. And like most men who have been let off the leash, he just can't get enough of it. Whether your boyfriend is just there for the sex remains to be seen. I suggest you talk to him again, and explain that you'd like to do things other than sex, such as go out and have fun, spend time together without all the sex. If he can't keep it in check for a few days, and if he can't offer you anything but sex, then maybe he's there for the sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): that makes you feel bad? Honey, my partner of three years has never tried to have sex with me. Lets swap and see how you feel about that!!
On a more serious note, no- dont feel bad. He is young, in love and finds you attractive. Live it up girl!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): I find it unlikely that he is just using you for sex, unless there's a lot of other signs u haven't mentiond. Sex feels good and is fun to do, so of corse he wants to do it. But one sure way to find if that's the only reason is to not not have sex for a wile, if he leaves u, u have ur answer. If he doesn't then that's not why he's with u. And tell him. I have sex with you cause it makes you happy, why not do this stuff with me to make me happy?
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