A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do married men like to have affairs with other women, though they are by no means ready to leave their legal wives? What is this mentality? Don't they have any fear for the consequence? Don't they feel anything bad about other parties (both wife and mistress)? After having done this once they even become serial cheaters. Why? Have they got no feelings about others?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I can't even begin to know why men or women cheat. I think everyone has their own reasons...
the one thing you said that I want to address is:
" After having done this once they even become serial cheaters"
this is not always true. sometimes a person cheats and it's a one shot deal for various reasons.
e.g.
a man age 19 meets a young girl age 16 on a blind date
they date and get engaged. three years later they marry.
25 years after the marriage he has a brief midlife crisis and has an affair. He moves out from the marital home. He continues to see the girlfriend briefly and yet a few months later the wife and husband work it out, she forgives his behavior and he moves back home. 21 years later she dies in his arms and he cried like a baby. He never cheated again, not physically, not emotionally.
Yes he made a mistake. But his wife was a wise woman and knew that people make mistakes and learn from them...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I think anyone who cheats (man or woman) is selfish and selfdestructive. They all KNOW it's wrong, but will justify it any way shape or form they can, usually by blaming their partner.
People who "serial cheat" do it because they have gotten away with it before, they know which buttons to push, what words to say, to be "forgiven".. and then they go right back to their "merry" way.
Some people just don't know how to give a "Shoot" about anything but their own libido, attention and need for instant gratification.
There are as many reason and ther are cheaters.
The real question is, why do their partners bother staying when they find out.?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): I say they are cowards. If you are going to cheat on your partner then at least have the curtsey of dumping them. This goes for everyone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): There are many reasons men cheat, just like there are many reasons women cheat. The answer is different for every person.
One big eason is because they are selfish. Because they believe themselves to be better, and thus, deserving of whatever it is they want. Whether it be sex or something else. They do not want to work through a rough patch, or through anything else and find it easier to cheat. In this case no, they do not care about other parties. Nor do they see the seriousness of a marriage commitment.
Another one is that they need somehing they can't find in their relationship. This one is a little different since most people who cheat for this are ashamed of it, and are unlikely to do it again. Mostly they still do love their spouse, but cannot see a way to reconcile what they need with what their partner is willing to give. An extreme form of this is if someone is in a bad or failing relationship who does not have the courage to call it quits.
There is no straight answer and those are just examples, it is really a case by case story.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (26 October 2011):
 What i find with men like that who have an affair despite not wanting to leave there wifes is they normanally (not all the time) do it to spruce up there sex life. Some of them may still love there wifes but feel deprived in that area so they go looking for it somewhere else.
Others might go through a rough patch and then decide there going to go and make themselfs feel better by sleeping with another ( which normanally doesn't make them feel any better).
There are so many different reasons to all the qeustions you have asked and they will vary from person to person you ask.
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