A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid y is it that after a couple of yearz of bieng together,m0st men start c0mplaining about us gaining weight? what is the pr0blem? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): Agree with the answer from heartfullalove. My ex-girlfriend, whom I share a student house with, asked once "Why do women feel they can gain weight once they start a relationship with a man?"
Twice men had their girlfriend move in, and within a couple of months they were eating fast food all the time and their physique was noticeably heavier. What's wrong with eating properly and not being defensive about it?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009): To be blunt about it, excess weight is unattractive. A man's wife could be the most devastatingly beautiful woman in the world, but if she were to pile on another 100 pounds, you can be certain his 'love' (itself a very difficult concept to define) would be severely tested.
In much the same way that a guy could be George Clooney or Brad Pitt, but if his teeth start falling out, his hair disappears and he grows a gigantic beer-gut, it will put a strain on the attraction his wife feels for him.
I suspect the single most common root cause of relationship break-ups is the fact that one or both parties stop finding one another sexually attractive. In most cases they've established sexual compatability long before then, so their sex life doesn't necessarily suffer in any obvious sense, but there's an element of 'going through the motions', which can eventually lead to boredom, which can lead to infidelity (the bored husband who can't resist a younger sexier girl; the plump wife who feels the need to prove she still 'has it'; endless varieties of the above), which can lead to divorce and so on and so forth. Or they start arguing about little things because there's no longer an overriding urge to tear each other's clothes off several times a day. They'll break up ostensibly for some other reason, but it can be traced back to the loss of sexual desire.
So it comes back to love, and whether that's strong enough. But your question was a short one, so I'll try and cut the answer short.
Weight matters because humans (not just females, as asserted by 'Hijacked-dignity') are pretty shallow animals, and find too much weight unattractive. Unfair but true. It's a jungle out there. Life isn't easy on those who don't pass the beauty test. Rates of depression, suicide and ill-health are many many times higher for people who are (to be blunt) fat, ugly, single and sex-starved than for people who look great and have no shortage of prospective partners.
It's also a health issue. So if you're gaining weight, keep an eye on it. Not for anyone else's benefit, but for your sake.
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A
male
reader, Goin crazy  +, writes (20 June 2009):
My wife has been so called over weight since i met her 5 years ago. And other than i know that she would feel better and have more energy if she lost some weight . I dont know what the big problem is. i love her just the same . If your husband is buggin you about this then you go after his manhood and say its too small and you want it to be bigger and longer. See how he feels about that.You can loose weight if you want to but he is pretty much stuck with whats between his legs..
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (20 June 2009):
 They complain because you are gaining weight (and because by nature, men are rather shallow beings). They don't really see that as attractive. It's kind of funny in a way, because most men that complain about that are actually just as overweight, if not more so. It's a type of double standard. One must understand that once a person feels comfortable in a relationship, they tend to let themselves go. Man or woman. Why? Because they figure, I already have someone, why put in the effort to attract them? So people put less of an effort for upkeep because they are already off the market. But forget about what your man might say. You should try to keep in shape for your own benefit. I am sure that he has had his own issues in keeping his weight down too. Don't forget to point that out every time he brings up yours. Then maybe work out together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009): Excellent Kelly - I couldn't have put it better myself!
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (20 June 2009):
 Because you're not the person they fell is love with, they fell in love with someone who they deemed to be attractive and when that fades they consider it as 'letting yourself go' its disrespectful and you don't care about your appearance and take pride in yourself anymore. By losing weight and striving to be what he fell in love with it shows him that you can be bothered enough to do something for him. X
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