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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: They say 50% of marriages brakes down. This is very frightening. I wonder why is the other 50% stays alive...Is this partly because of religion? It s almost feels like plague. Spreading ,like a virus. We all know its coming, but you don't know when. I would like to ask, what do you think is, are most common cause for the marriage to brake down? No Sex? Boredom? Falling out of love? How can you tell , it's not going to work? And how can you make it work? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 I feel the biggest issue that starts the marriage breakdown is lack of effort due to monotony. We become to complacent and comfortable. We, understandably, stop doing the little things to impress our partners as time goes by.
When a relationship is new we do to extremes to impress out mates. We will do anything for them. When we begin to see that the relationship has become established, we take liberties that we would not have taken in the beginning. No more flowers from the men and less sex from the women.
Marriage takes effort. It is also important to see the big picture. Marriage is about more than thrills and highs. It's about stability, trust, confidence ans knowing that your partner puts you first. It's about knowing that when you grow old that your partner will care for you. It's about children, in laws, history, dreams and experiences. Many people never get the chance to fully understand these things because their relationships never get enough depth. If you don't have the depth then you don't really have too much to lose and this makes breaking up easy.
People get bored and it's easy to lash out at the ones you love and spend the most time with. Just like work, school, exercise etc, the things we do on a regular basis become boring and we lose interest. When we become bored with one of the main pillars of our life's foundations, we sometimes need to bolster it by reinventing shifting our focus. If a part of our lives our too routine, it's often a good idea to brighten up another area. It's not always a good idea to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
As I always say, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill. The grass is greenest where you water it. Always put effort into your marriage. do not let the fire go out because someone else will be happy to relight it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): There are so many reasons for staying in or opting out of a marriage.It depends on whether you want to look at the pros or the cons.There's no way to know if one's marriage will survive or not. Only the indivduals who are in a marriage can decide this.It varies from person to person.
The most common cause for failing marriages are that we give up easily.We give priority to 'wants'.We keep wanting more and more and forget that this person we married, there was a day when he/she fulfilled us completely.
Personally I believe marriage needs a lot of efforts and compromises to survive from both parties. And communication is the key.
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A
female
reader, qslady1  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 One of the biggest causes of marriage break down is lack of communication. Another cause is lack of trust. If you can not talk to your spouse then what is the point of being married in the first place? You need to tell each other how you feel, what's bothering you, etc. How else do you know what's going on with the other if you don't communicate? You also have to be honest in your communication, too. And if you don't trust your spouse, what's the point in being with them at all?
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