A
male
age
41-50,
*anius
writes:I am not sure what to think here. I am going on the second year anniversary with my wife. She hasn't lately been feeling very sexual. I would say our sex life is at an all time low. I got some for my birthday a week ago, but any mention of doing it seems to make her run the other way. We have always had a great sex life. So I am not sure is she cheating? What am I to do or think? I tried to call her cell phone a few minutes after I realized she left. I didn't get a responce. I need someone to tell me what to do.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 It is very important to discuss this with your wife and a therapist if you can't work it out between the two of you. Do not let your feelings fester as you will begin to resent her and this will creep into your relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): on a positive note:
maybe she is pregnant and having hormonal changes and want to surprise you with the news
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): g'day mate.
I was in your situation some 18 years ago. For us, it was not cheating, it was child abuse in my wife's past.
It was very strange, things were good for us until soon after we married - in fact, things started to decline after the engagement but I just put that down to the stress of getting the wedding organised.
You need to be upfront and ask your wife if she was abused when she was a child. The problem is more common than you might think.
I took a gentle approach, giving her space and tiptoeing around the abuse for almost 20 years. Today, she is no better & has only just started to see a counsellor to address the problem. DO NOT leave it that long, it will leave you bitter and resentful & the problem does not improve with children, time or patience.
Hope this helps, good luck with it.
P
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