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Why do ladies not have any respect for men who treat them right?

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Question - (19 February 2013) 10 Answers - (Newest, 21 February 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Ladies, you always complain about all the guys who mistreat you, so why then, do you always mistreat the guys that dont? Why dont you have any respect for guys unless they are bad to you?

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (21 February 2013):

Evolution. Women chasing the "bad boy" types is a relic of the past that unfortunately does not serve them well in modern society. Simply put - the uber aggressive alpha male who was more likely to protect and produce healthy offspring thousands of years ago is less productive as a partner in todays society. Unfortunately, our society moves much faster than our evolutionary development, leaving us with relics like this to deal with.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (21 February 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntEuphoric,

" well, and other mysterious reasons that I can't explain."

Quote of the day 5 stars to you.

Very good definition of the gentleman, Hope you read it all OP.

FA

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013):

I like men who are nice, but not men who are TOO nice. A nice man will treat you well but also give you space and let you be yourself. A man who is too nice often comes across as desperate to please his girlfriend and that is a bit of a turn off. It's not fun being with someone who sucks up to you all the time, it's actually quite a hassle. And make sure you are confident too. Don't be needy, believe that she is lucky to have you and she will too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013):

Euphoric29 having girls excuse your obviously shitty ways on the basis of "awwww so cute", that's power. That's a type of charm that gives him power over a lot of granny eating teenage girls. Lots of different kinds of power, my player days my power was guts and determination. A risk taker who didn't take no for answer (legally of course), a girl would tell me to my face that she thought I was ugly and that made me work harder to get her and most of the time I did. That's power. I have another friend who is just a complete joker, women particularly find him hilarious and he's popular with everyone because he makes them laugh, guess what, that's power.

Any quality that gives you an edge, the power to make women forget themselves and want you regardless of their intentions is power. Trust me, Bieber has power.

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (20 February 2013):

Dear OP,

No matter how long this myth persists, it's not true like that.

Women generally wish to be treated well, however, they sometimes fall in love, then they get treated badly, but they still hang on. Because love makes you do crazy things. But: This happens to guys as well. I see enough men letting their girlfriends treat them like shit.

This is not a magical thing that only happens to women.

It's just that within every relationship, there's some distribution of power, and in some cases the guy takes all the power and the woman is still too young or not confident enough, or just too naive, and stays around, hoping the guy will change some day.

Now, to the "nice" guys: We women aren't machines where you throw in niceness coins until sex and eternal love falls out.

You get sex by being sexy, and you get love by being loveable.. well, and other mysterious reasons that I can't explain.

Nice will just get you treated nicely, but in a nonsexual way. Because nice behaviour has not been invented to get you attraction or any deep feeling, it's just a way to make each others' lifes more pleasant. In general genuine "nice" behaviour is a sign for friendship, or professional behavior. Nothing more.

Often, all this gentleman-stuff is just, that you don't dare to be upfront with what you want from a woman. And then it's no wonder you don't get it.

Love and sex, all this is a RISK. It's a risk for a woman to give her body, to lose her heart.. so, will she want to fall in love with a guy who risks nothing? If you always act "nice", you stay in your comfort zone, forcing the woman to make a move if she wants to take it to the next level.

And very often, the woman doesn't see the point why she should make that move. Since all you show of

yourself is your nice behaviour, and she gets that behaviour from you, anyway.

And, to complete my little rant:) : Most of you wannabe-gentlemen don't get what gentleman behaviour really is about.

Watch old movies with Cary Grant or Frank Sinatra. These men didn't just sheepishly help a woman into her coat, they used this gesture to flirt, it was an excuse to gently touch the woman, make her blush, get close. It was something like, I will protect you, honey, from this dangerous world, but beware.. I'm a little dangerous, too.

It was never just an innocent nice behaviour. It was an invitation and the woman would get it and then she could decide whether or not to accept it. And if she didn't accept it, then none of them would have lost their face, cause after all, the guy just helped her into her coat, nothing more.

So, if you want to be succesful, spice up your nice acts with some serious, obvious flirting, cause that's what these guys were doing.

And I am sorry, cerberus, but Justin Bieber=Power?

No, Justin Bieber is the kind of guy who gets away with being awwww sooo cute. That's a different phenomenon..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2013):

the thing is almost all of u r wrong chix often go after men who are compassionate and mysterious coarse everyone likes a masculine version of themselves and feminine aswell i grew up with only feminine characteristics and liked guys but became steight however women love men who r themselves

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A male reader, human_male New Zealand +, writes (19 February 2013):

human_male agony auntBe nice because that's the sort of man you want to be. Don't be nice because you want something, or you think it will make someone like you.

Don't ask why girls are going for the bad boys and not you. There is absolutely no point in asking that. It will get you nowhere and do your head in.

It may seem like you have to be a jerk to get women but you don't. Be a GOOD man. A man that is nice to everyone because he is a good man. Women will be repulsed (that's a strong word but I use it deliberately) by a guy who they feel is only being nice to have sex with them (not saying you are by the way, just talking in general).

Women like honesty, confidence and men who are upfront about their intentions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2013):

Girls only really mistreat guys who actually give a damn at your age OP. So it's easy, just don't give a damn. Don't care what they want, what they need, what they like if you see one you like just go for it and don't think.

OP girls your age are into bad boys because those boys are confident, radiate dominance and most girls at that age can't tell the when that's negative or not. Girls like to be excited, a "nice boy" is hardly going to excite a lot of girls.

Now that's all a generalization of course, you'll meet plenty who aren't into the dominant type of alpha and who want a more timid guy, but how are timid guys supposed to get girls when they do nothing but sit back and watch?

OP girls don't respect guys who are pushovers, they don't find anything exciting about nice guys because they have no edge and at your age girls want to feel excited. Look at who they idolize, Bieber is a cheating drug user but most girls your age would eat their own grandmother to have one kiss from him. Why? Because he represents power, a guy who has it all and doesn't give a fuck and of course he sings, teen girls go crazy over guys who have anything to do with music, saying that I really don't know that many women who don't swoon over a guy who can play guitar. Proper pussy magnet machine.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (19 February 2013):

Fatherly Advice agony auntOn top of the excellent answer by CMMP you also need a sense of mystery. Some guys use abusive behavior, sulkiness, danger, or outright lying to substitute for true mystery. It's much more simple than that. Don't smother her. If you text her every hour it leaves little time to surprise her. Little gifts are good too. Don't brag too much. let them guess what you have done.

Manliness has nothing to do with crudeness or brutality. Girls like men.

FA

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (19 February 2013):

That's a myth. Women don't respect men who are timid, not confident, and who let themselves get taken advantage of.

Maybe you're going after the wrong girls. But a lot of guys at your age are nice to girls thinking that's how you get them to like you. It almost never works.

What you need to do is be confident and ask a girl out, and be nice to her without letting her walk all over you.

I'm nice and when I finally learned to gather enough balls to ask women out I've never had issues with women not respecting me.

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