A
female
age
41-50,
*eryConfussed
writes:Why do I want my husband to mess up so bad?I have been married for over 17 years, I've cheated and my husband has cheated. He has lost two jobs over woman that he cheated with and he talked to several woman on a computer. We have been to church for counseling and I thought that I had forgiven him. Recently, we started talking on a website to men and woman to help our sex life. These people were from out of state and we just talked dirty with them to put a spark in our sex life. The problem is that I am a Christian and I have been convicted over talking to other men, even though my husband knew. I feel that it is a sin and I want no part of it. I am now more confussed than ever because now, I search his computer trying to find something that he has done wrong. It is sorta like I want him to mess up so that I have an excuse to be mad at him. I know that sounds stupid but its the way I feel. Does this mean that I just don't love him and that I am finding excuses for him to leave? I don't know what to do, I love him and we have three children together but I don't understand my feelings about him any longer. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): It could be that, or it could be that you are so mad at everything hes done that you just dont care anymore. You could have been building a wall to block u from whats real and now is going down and you might not care anymore. Try talking to him... no screaming just talking... noth of you take a piece of paper and write down whats bothering both, then whats wrong in the relationship, what could improve, and why you think the relationship is going the way it is... after that discuss it together, one person speak at the time while the other take notes on what the other person said so you guys can go back detail by detail. Hope i helped.
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Maybe you are afraid of him cheating so you want to catch him in the act to prove it. Of course I could be completely wrong. Maybe you want him to mess up so that it makes you more innocent then he is.
Though you did mention leaving him. So you should ask yourself...
Are you happy with him?
Do you think you would be happier without him?
Do you see a future with him?
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): Maybe you are searching for a way out of the relationship? 17 years and you've both cheated. Maybe it's time to switch things up or take a break from each other.
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