A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a loving girlfriend of many years. She goes out of her way to treat me great and always does nice things for me. But lately, I am extremely enticed by some of the other women I randomly interact with. What is wrong with me? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (29 November 2009):
 Sorry, I forgot to add my standard line here...."the grass is greenest where you water it" If you make the effort at home, that's where the good grass will grow.
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (29 November 2009):
There is nothing wrong with you for feeling attraction. You're supposed to feel it. It won't be the lasst time either. The tricky part is to maintain your number one relationship at a level that makes those other attractions pale in comparison to your numebr one partner. It is all about keeping your relationship alive. It will not always be a thrilling experience but that is the point where you have to put a higher value on the time you've invested in your relationship over a potential thrill from another.
This is all a cycle. If we didn't put a higher value on the parts of a relationship that are not tangible, we'd always be chasing the next thrill. That is hollow and you end up alone. What happens if you go with the woman you're attracted to and then the nest year you're attracted to another, then another etc....get it?
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (29 November 2009):
There is nothing wrong with you for feeling attraction. You're supposed to feel it. It won't be the lasst time either. The tricky part is to maintain your number one relationship at a level that makes those other attractions pale in comparison to your numebr one partner. It is all about keeping your relationship alive. It will not always be a thrilling experience but that is the point where you have to put a higher value on the time you've invested in your relationship over a potential thrill from another.
This is all a cycle. If we didn't put a higher value on the parts of a relationship that are not tangible, we'd always be chasing the next thrill. That is hollow and you end up alone. What happens if you go with the woman you're attracted to and then the nest year you're attracted to another, then another etc....get it?
...............................
A
female
reader, shikiraclare  +, writes (29 November 2009):
I think it's great that you can admire other women and find qualities in them that your girlfriend doesn't have - this isn't abnormal or wrong and can actually make you appreciate the good qualities you see in your girlfriend a lot more.But, sometimes being too accommodating can turn a man off in some cases and especially if she gives into your every need and fulfills all your expectations and is nice all the time. If this is the case, then maybe you need to tell her that you love what she does for you; but that you don't always want that when it makes you feel less appreciative of her and to allow you do some chasing (which is what men enjoy) and makes them feel more desirable. Telling her this might upset her if she is sensitive, but if you explain it in a way that is kind then she will see that changes are good in a relationship if it is to be kept alive.If she is open to some change, then great! you will still admire other women as all men do but you won't feel enticed by them in quite the way you do now. I don't believe that love just expires (it needs working on all the time) in order that it is stimulating; exciting and adaptable to change from time to time.
...............................
|
