A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I left my ex fiance 8 months ago, and found a new love 3 months ago. I have been ok and over my ex for awhile, but yesterday i had a urge to look at his myspace. sure enough there is a new girl as his number 2 friend and she left pre-made comments on his page about missing him and what not. it still says his status is a swinger, but somehow i just flipped out last night and cried my eyes out. i love my new boyfriend and my ex was very emotionally abusive, so why am i all of a sudden missing him? he didn't even want to set a date b/c i kept breaking up with him, and he wanted me to have a career, (which i already was a teacher but he and i thought that i shouldn't do that anymore b/c i wasn't making enough), and that we needed enough money first to have the wedding. when i broke up with him he harassed me and called and emailed me to the point i had to change my number and email address b/c i asked him not to call me anymore. why am i all of a sudden so bothered. the thought of him with someone else (if that's the case) just kills me. I was going to marry him! and if i meant so much to him, why didn't he try harder to keep me like writing an apology letter or something or going to therapy. instead he would just stalk me or try to hurt me by saying that he was dating someone new that actually cared, and send me a website to his myspace just so i could see girls kissing him, when he was trying to say that he was making a new tv show. Ahh! how do i get undepressed and move on for good?
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broke up, emotionally abusive, fiance, kissing, money, move on, my ex, myspace, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): Don't feel alone. Maybe it is just one of those things that is bound to happen. I am in a similar situation. I was engaged to my ex and was with him for a good while. I had broken up with him numerous amount of times, and continued to take him back hoping things, he, would change. He wasn't abusive in anyway, just very childish, vindictive, and said he loved me with no action to back it up. I had fallen out of love with him and became pretty much emotionally dead towards him for about about a year prior to finally breaking it off completely. When that happened I got letters, messages, voicemails, etc. telling me what a whore I was, how horrible of a person I was, just hateful things. It took about 3 months for him to finally stop. Not even a month later, I started dating this amazing man who does nothing but prove his love to me every time I am with him. However, I still find myself thinking about my ex. It is ridiculous. I want to see him, I would like to know how he is doing, it doesn't make any sense to me. However, I know that that relationship was not good for me, nor him. The point being, just be strong and know you aren't alone. Don't go back to your ex. You know how it was and you were obviously not happy with him. I have learned that breaking up after an extended relationship is not easy, no matter what the circumstances. Just enjoy your time with your new man and hope for the best. In the long run, all mixed feelings will dissipate and you will be thankful that you went on with your life. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2010): Don't feel alone. Maybe it is just one of those things that is bound to happen. I am in a similar situation. I was engaged to my ex and was with him for a good while. I had broken up with him numerous amount of times, and continued to take him back hoping things, he, would change. He wasn't abusive in anyway, just very childish, vindictive, and said he loved me with no action to back it up. I had fallen out of love with him and became pretty much emotionally dead towards him for about about a year prior to finally breaking it off completely. When that happened I got letters, messages, voicemails, etc. telling me what a whore I was, how horrible of a person I was, just hateful things. It took about 3 months for him to finally stop. Not even a month later, I started dating this amazing man who does nothing but prove his love to me every time I am with him. However, I still find myself thinking about my ex. It is ridiculous. I want to see him, I would like to know how he is doing, it doesn't make any sense to me. However, I know that that relationship was not good for me, nor him. The point being, just be strong and know you aren't alone. Don't go back to your ex. You know how it was and you were obviously not happy with him. I have learned that breaking up after an extended relationship is not easy, no matter what the circumstances. Just enjoy your time with your new man and hope for the best. In the long run, all mixed feelings will dissipate and you will be thankful that you went on with your life. :)
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A
female
reader, Caralots +, writes (27 June 2008):
This happens to everyone,
You dont miss him. You think you do, but you dont.
You miss the constant attention and the harrassment from him. You miss feeling wanted beyond belief.
dont let it get to you.
every girl needs a good cry once in a while, even if its over something stupid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): First of all, congrads for leaving him -- he sounds like someone who is no good at all, esp to spend the rest of your life with! And congrads on finding a new guy!
Second of all, I think that getting over a lost love is like a rollercoaster ride. At first you have that HUGE hill that you have to climb, and it just goes sooooo slow and its terrifying b/c you dont know whats going to happen or when it will stop. Thats like the initial break up. But then after the initial drop, as your getting towards the end, the designers add in a couple of hills to give you a grand finish of the ride. Thats probably what you're going through now. One of those hills at the end just before the ride finishes.
So just stay strong, you sound like a very in control and mature person, and I'm positive this will pass sooner than you think. B/c I know it did for me, and in hindsight, I was so suprised how quickly it passed.
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