A
female
age
36-40,
*ubblygirl
writes:I need some final advice on this matter and Im not sure why I cant get over it.The guy Ive been 'waiting' for and liked has used me, disrespected me, ignored me and lied to me many many times in the past year. When we started hanging out, i thought as a couple, he was so sweet. Texting me all the time, going on dates with me, paying for everything and letting me into his life too. Then, I found out much later that a couple months into this, he started seeing two other girls, one of whom he slept with for months and he told me she was a 'friend he liked at one time but doesnt currently".I believed him, stupidly, and when we went back to work the next summer, he ignored me for 2 months, liked another girl at work, then changed his mind and started dating this other girl at work. When she moved away at the end of the summer, he wanted to continue this 'relationship', sending her flowers and presents and texts (sound familar?) but cheated on her a week after she left. They broke up, but for some reason, I still want to talk to him, hear from him and hang out with him. Now, once again, he sometimes ignores me and then talks to me.Why? After all he has done, why do I still care? Its hard to break contact completely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Im going through the exact same thing...like I promise our situations are exactly the same.....but you know what I did I left him alone and I got my self respect back....because deep down I knew that that was not what I wanted...it was very hard to let go...because I was falling for him..and then he started talking to other girls....but when he did that I was gone..I couldn't take it.....I was hurt...and I noticed that he was doing that to all of the girls he dated..being a player..but I decided that I wasn't going to be one of those girls...because I was better than that..so I always wanted to keep contact but I never did and when I got the urge....I just texted my best friend and we went through it together..lol..but yeah it will be hard...but what I recommend for you is to do is to find an outlet to keep you happy..like im in my second year of college and I (surprisingly) found an outlet through doing my schoolwork...getting good grades and studying and preparing for my future makes me happy and it keeps my mind off of him...im also helping myself...now that may not be your outlet..lol but just do something that keeps you busy girl..you will be better trust me...and you will feel so much better that you let him go...I wish you luck and hope that you find somebody who will respect you.(:
A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (25 October 2008):
hiyah yeah its hard hun but you need to let go before you loose your self respect, he has no respect for you or women in general so it seems and you deserve better and there is better out there. youve hel on through everything so i know your feelings are deep but you are wasting them on someone who isnt worth anything. hes a user who gets what he wants, gets bord and leaves its so unfair but you need to see it and become your own person again and leave this cycle youve repeadidly found yourself in with this guy. hes a cheat through and through cant you see his pattern? his immaturity and lack of respect towards women shows a careless person who will end up lonely and im not one of those women who says were better than men etc i believe in fairness and trust these two things he cannot give you or anyone else it seems.
And i know its hard to hear but you are begining to see it for yourself now. i think you still care because you fell deep for the wrong one. its hard to break completely but its something you need to do. move on and find better, easier said then done and its up to you at the end of the day but i cant see this guy changin and even if he did i think his past actions hove damaged what you could of possibly had
best of luck hope all works out x :)
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