A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So when and my boyfriend are doing foreplay I obviously get turned up to the point of climaxing and when I know I'm nearing that I get him to stop. I do this because I tend to shake when I do. I'm worried that he'll find it weird which is why I stop but I don't think he realises that I'm nearing an orgasm because I don't let it be known, because I'm embarrassed.So I need on advice how to overcome this and why in fact I shake?Help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): Its the greatest gift ever created! I say prolong it as long as you can:)))))))))
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (11 October 2012):
What needs to be "overcome"? Your body is responding quite naturally, and in fact beautifully, as nature takes its course.
Speaking as a male guy person of the masculine sex - a partner who is genuinely demonstrative at climax is one of the greatest turn-ons imaginable and a source of great satisfaction. (And a partner who fakes or artificially embellishes her climax is a huge turn-off.)
But I DO understand your concern. Not long after we married and started having sex, and my wife was still getting most of her orgasms from cunnilingus, I mentioned to her how much it turned me on to hear her make little gasping, whimpering, mewing sounds as she neared orgasm. Guess what? She clammed up and I didn't hear so much as a peep out of her for a YEAR or so afterwards! I was VERY disappointed.
Probably all of us are self-conscious and embarrassed by what our bodies do at orgasm. My opinion is that it's a good thing, and very intimate, to allow your partner to observe that aspect of your personality. If he's a good choice for your partner he may feel insulted if you DON'T let your reactions show.
If you let it happen just once you may not have any fear after that. After becoming engaged to be married, and knowing the girl I'd be giving my virginity to, I was occasionally concerned about how she would react when she observed my climax. (Fortunately, at that time I didn't know that I was significantly more demonstrative than most guys or I would have REALLY been worried!) When our heavy petting and outercourse brought me to climax, I worked to suppress my reactions, as you are doing. But the experience of giving our virginities to each other was so physically intense that I was even MORE expressive at climax - and it didn't bother her one bit! Since then I have always "let it happen", except on a few rare occasions when it was critical that we shouldn't be noticed.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 October 2012):
 It's pretty normal, for me it happens AFTER a good shag. My legs are like rubber for a good 45 minutes lol.
No worries, honey.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (11 October 2012):
Dont stop yourself as he will think he is doing something wrong. If you cant find the right words to say (like thats great) then just make some approving sounds or moans. As long as your arms and legs dont flail around to the point you could injure him then dont worry. What you do is just wonderful and far better than the girl who is as still and silent as a corpse!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Relax
don't worry about it...shaking is normal for you.... sometimes I cry.. how do you think that makes my guy feel?
seriously just tell him, that you shake so he doesn't think it's a seizure or something...
do not deny yourself pleasure due to embarrassment...
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A
male
reader, Htsn47 +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Speaking as a guy, I don't think it's weird at all - it's exciting! Who wouldn't want to know that what you are doing is bringing a lot of pleasure to someone you care about? I can't think why he'd think it is weird or anything else negative.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (11 October 2012):
 I think being so turned on you're shaking is generally considered a turn on for most guys. Just like moaning, breathing hard, yelling, clenching, twitching, or whatever else people do. Doesn't he do "weird" things before he orgasms? And doesn't that turn you on? He wants you to orgasm, and anything you do that indicates you are about to is a turn on, not a turn off.
Like for instance I can't orgasm if I don't turn my head to the right. It's weird, but my boyfriend likes it because it means I'm turned on. My boyfriend gets little beads of sweat on his back right before he orgasms, and also makes this almost constipated face and a bored sigh. There is nothing weird.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 Shake away , there's nothing strange. People have different physical manifestations when they are climaxing or pretty close, and shaking is one. I don't think shaking is "weirder" than panting or making sounds or saying Omygod,...or any of the various things people do when they come.
There's nothing to overcome, with all the women who have a hard time climaxing, your bf can't be other than happy of having met one who is so responsive.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 October 2012):
 How can you have sex with him if you can't talk to him about sex? Tell him what's going on, that you're closing in on an orgasm, and that you're embarrassed because you shake.
Although, what exactly do you think is embarrassing? Unless you're flopping around like a fish on land I very much doubt you're responding in an unusual ways. There are far worse things than shaking when you orgasm...
Men love the feeling of ackomplishment when they manage to get a woman to orgasm. Don't rob him of that feeling, it's something that will please him. If he can get you there, which is his goal when he goes down on you... then let him know he's doing an amazing job. Or else he'll think you're stopping him because you don't like what he's doing or that he's doing it wrong.
Talk to him. If you can have sex with him then you can also talk to him.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (11 October 2012):
 I think the shaking is normal and probably isn't as noticeable as you think. Relax, your boyfriend wants you to climax! It's nothing to be embarrassed about, in fact it's a good thing that you have no problems climaxing (apart from this). You don't need to overcome it, just accept it!
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