A
female
age
30-35,
*reedomFalls19
writes:Hi Aunts and Uncles!I have been noticing I attract players and man whores. Sure I admit it, I have large breasts, curves, and I'm (unfortunatly) very skinny. I don't want to be this way, I eat like a cow yet, I never gain a pound. I'm extremely quiet and shy, and I am a major 'otaku.'Sure, I have an extremely short pixie haircut to get some self respect, but nothing works.I haven't attracted any guys that are nice, gentlemanly, or anyone I like.I also think that the guy I'm crushing on thinks I like one of the 'players' who always hang around me.Can someone help me on how to get these guys to leave me alone and actually get me a chance with the guy I like?Thanks so much!!
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male
reader, wolfred bane  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 okay this is a very interesting situation........my speciality.a rekon u should get a cuppa or something cause this is gonna take a while.i'l deal with ur crush first.i have a feeling he likes u, but to be sure try this.u say he thinks u like one of those pervs right, in that case he would stare at you from afar.if you often find yourself making eye contact, chances are it is not a coincidence.you gotta trust me on this one, guys are more shy than gals. not very manly, i know. so it is up to the brave heroine to save the day.usually, i would tell u to just go up to the guy.however, you seem like a really chio(hawt in achinese dialect) so im gonna tell u plan B.your in luck! i rarely get to tell plan B aka the plan for hot shy girls crushing on cool shy guys.1 try not to scare him.note to gals a guy CAN get freaked out (in a good way) by a hot girl comming up to say hi.2 be direct.dun beat around the bush.3 be brave. iknow u are shy, but just suck it up for one show .things will be easy after that.it is very important u dun tell everyone else u like him before telling himfirst.now for your other problem if all goes well you and your crush should be together and they should lose interest.if not ,try asking them to stop in thier face.just tell those pervs to back off.oh and thouchig you without permission is called molest. tell that to them. good luck gal
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 First, to filter out the players you attract but don't quickly detect:
Quoting your favorite anime in the first conversation will confuse about half of all players you run into. You can filter out some of the rest by refusing to communicate by text, and talking on the phone only.
The rest of the players will not put up with a girl who doesn't put out by the third or fourth date, so making them wait should get most of the remaining players.
To find nicer guys:
Try classes. If you're not in school, sign up for a few classes somewhere, or for a hobby club of some sort. Find the guys who've been there a while, and not the ones who just recently joined up to meet chicks. Bookstores also are full of decent guys, some of whom may even be good-looking - but use the filters above, some players have figured out that bookstores are a good hunting ground.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): If there are equal numbers of manwhores and choosy guys in the room at once, you won't come away thinking it was even. You will come away from the room thinking it was mostly manwhores. Because you got hit on by every manwhore in the room and only a few of the choosier guys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Do you let these type of guys get away with this type of behaviour? That could be part of the problem.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Listen, if they touch you like that without your permission, that's unwanted sexual contact which could be viewed as a form of minor sexual assault. A very sharp and loud "STOP IT!!!" should stop the inappropriate touching. If it doesn't work, a sharp slap might. Keep in mind, under normal circumstances I do not condone violence, but if he's not listening, assault should be met in kind in self defense.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 November 2010):
Thewalkin' is absolutely right about locations and interests.
Another thing (and this is a BIG thing) is your image. You say you have big breasts and curves? You say you're shy and "otaku"? You should work on your image.
I'm guessing you're not opting for shirts that show lots of cleavage or spandex pants or bare midriffs or loud jewelry, so the other thing is - dress very nicely (maybe conservatively). Mute how large your breasts are, and also, watch your posture. Believe it or not, carrying yourself tall and straight and regally will intimidate most of the would-be players.
Likewise, dressing in tattered clothes would make players think that you're gullible and inexperienced and try to play off of that.
Be assertive, dress the part of someone who is ambitious about their life's direction, and have a regal image, and you'll scare off a good majority of the junk food guys before they start in on their first cheesy line, because they'll think you're out of their league.
Now a guy with similar pursuits and an eye for real beauty that's not too gaudy, cheap, or neglected will consider you a prize, and the good news is that most of them are in it for the long haul.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): Ok, where are you meeting these guys? At a bar? I doubt it's at a library is it? You know a bar or nightclub is probably the worst place to meet guys. Why? Well the "man whores" or "players" use these environments to their advantage, chatting up anything with a skirt usually.
The thing is with these types of guys, i've met a few, is they know how to charm a woman to get what they want and most guys looking for a real relationship and not just sex won't be in a bar getting wasted.
Do you have any hobbies or interests? Maybe try doing something new, joining a club or something, you're more likely to meet a guy with similar interests.
Also, yes your figure is going to attract those linds of guys but you will have to learn how to spot them. One of the things you should never, ever do is sleep with a guy too soon, make him work for it for a few months.
Go on dates, to the movies, ice skating, whatever. I'd say a good 3 months without sleeping with him and if he's geuinely interested he will stick around.
If a guy has a reputation, believe people because a guy doesn't just get a bad rep for no reason. If he talks about sex all the time then he's usually after one thing. If he over complements you all the time and it's only ever things like how "hot" you are, beware.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (9 November 2010):
 How do you dress?
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A
female
reader, FreedomFalls19 +, writes (9 November 2010):
FreedomFalls19 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I forgot to add:
Some of the guys also touch my breasts very often or kick my butt.
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