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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i dont know whats up with me. I get really really obsessed with guys. Ill tel you the general pattern..we both really like each other, i get really attatched, i either pretend i don't like them or text them constantly and if they dont text me often enough i get really worried that they dont like me, so drive them away by doing stupid things like pretending i dont like them or pretending i like their mates.They then think im weird or a horrible person. I then become infatuated or obsessed with them and they are all i think about for the next year. I think what a mistake iv made and how good we would have been together. This has happened on so many occassions now. Its ruining my chance of a relationship. Please please help me i think im vey insecure deep down, but on the surafce i know im pretty. Maybe i think hat wen the guy gets to know me hel break my heart? Sorry to ramble. Im just really unhappy.x x x xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): Hi Anonymous
I think you're a very insightful person and you can already see the reasons for why you haven't been too successful with relationships so far so you are doing far better than you think you are. I think you are still young when it comes to relationships and these kind of happenings are normal experiences as we progress in to adulthood. I really believe that the right guy just hasn't come in to your life yet but that when he does you will know - from your experience - to take it slowly and carefully and that you'll watch out for any signs of you sabotaging the relationship. If you can, try and concentrate on "you" time. Spend time doing things you enjoy that doesn't involve guys, find yourself in this way and it will distract you from thinking of guys from your past and will help you look to the future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): you are probably in the habit of sabotaging your relationships.your fear is overiding the optimism so much that you thow a spanner in the works before they get off the ground.you think you are protecting yourself but in the long term you are ruining your chances of having a normal relationship.you are experiencing pain anyway and giving grief to these potential partners.why dont you go past the infatuation stage?you need to discover what makes people tick and in doing so you will realise what makes you tick.
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A
male
reader, Big boy +, writes (20 March 2007):
 you are insecure, just relax you most be attractive for all this guys coming to you, anyways when you get the next guy just relax and try not to push him away... another thing you can do is to go to one of the other guys that you really like and just tell him on why you acted in that way towards him.....
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