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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i posted the previous question about driving guys away with my insecurities-i have another huge problem.i think that people dont like me so i don have many fiends.when u get 2 know me im really bubbbly and a nice person, but i think i come accross as either fake or a bitch just because i find it so hard 2 talk 2 people.i constantly worry that people dont like me it controlls my life!!!what on earh is up with me????x x x x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (20 March 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
I'm not sure how severe your insecurities are, but you might want to take a look at this website: http://www.socialphobia.org/
You might have what's called "Social Phobia" (aka Social Anxiety). It's a very real problem that often is misdiagnosed. I used to have this problem, but underwent hynosis with a life coach which completely turned my life around. You might want to look into doing the same thing if your problem is taking over your life. It's nothing to be ashamed about and it works wonders!
There's also a list of recommended reading on the website link from above. You might want to see if any of those books look like something you should read. I haven't read any of them, but a bunch have good reviews on amazon! ^_^
Take care.
A
female
reader, agony aunt j  +, writes (20 March 2007):
 i have bin through this soo many times, it's horrible! but i found that a lot of the time it was all in my head, and the more i thought people diddn't like me the more it seemeed they didn't! but the truth is, they did like me, i was just being paranoid if you like. so my advice would be just relax - people like you for you and they're the true friends. dont be so worried about it and you'll probably feel better. but the most likely thing is that this is just a stage - and it will go away and proably come back again at some point. everyone goes through it, people only notice it when you let it show. so dont act like you couldnt give a t*ss, but act as though you are who you are and if people dont like that then tough!
it seems to me youre just having a bit of an insecurity problem, but you know what? you're great - everyone is in their own way. everyone has faults too, so people need to learn to accept you as the whole package, faults and all. and the chances are they probably do - you just dont see it. it's hard when you look in the mirror and all you see is the negative points. but try to look at the good stuff. as someone i always listen to tells me - no one will like you 'til you like yourself.
hope you feel better soon!
:):)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): You are quite young and i felt like that at your age, you will gain loads of confidence with age, it did. Just put it down to part of growing up. Stop thinking that people don't like you, just have the attitude that you are not really bothered, but it would be nice to be liked. Just be cool about the whole situation and enjoy growing up.
Take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): You are quite young and i felt like that at your age, you will gain loads of confidence with age, it did. Just put it down to part of growing up. Stop thinking that people don't like you, just have the attitude that you are not really bothered, but it would be nice to be liked. Just be cool about the whole situation and enjoy growing up.
Take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (20 March 2007):
 Hi Anon. Sound like you're going through a little insecurity crisis, this happens to all of us so don't think that you're crazy or anything. You have to love & except yourself for who you are and not worry about what other people think. Maybe something happened in your past which has given you low self esteem? Only you can answer this question. Anyway what's past is past and you can't change that. Live for today and the future. If it's really bugging you, talk to your guidance teacher or a counsellor recommended by your family doctor as they will put things in perspective and get to the bottom of the issue. I'm sure you'll be fine. Take care.
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