A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you get over severe sexual abuse... i am pregnant and have got a partner (not the babies dad) but when it comes to sex, i cant bear to let him touch me as it brings back horrible memories... please helpI cant go through counselling again as it brought back too mamy memories and has done me more harm than good... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): You need to talk to your bloke and put him in the picture. I bet he will be sympathic with you once he hears the truth. Don't let the past damage your life now, not easy, i know. I also know what it is like to visit a counsellor, i used to feel worse when i came out, but on the whole it dragged it out of me and the end result, maybe weeks later, was a better and happier me. It doesn't work for everyone. Does the abuser still live in or around you? Can you not bring him to court? Get him repremanded for what he did. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with these things. And what if someone else suffers at their hands. Please be strong and tell your bloke everything.
Take care and keep in touch.
xx
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (21 March 2007):
 Being a victim of rape, I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. 17 years after my experience I still feel the hurt, but it does subside.
I told my boyfriend pretty early on in our relationship so that he knew I was "fragile" and I couldnt have asked for any more support than what I got. He was really gentle with me, and didnt ask me to do things that I wasnt comfortable with.
I hope you can find the courage to tell your partner, and then tell him how you feel. If he doesnt know how you feel, you cant expect him to understand. And if he does know, he needs to be advised that he needs to be more gentle and not ask you to do things you dont want to.
Something like this can take years to heal, but I know have a solid relationship with someone I am comfortable enough with to allow him to touch me.
In some cases, no amount of councilling will help. You have to make the first step and if you havent already had this guy charged with the abuse, make him pay for how you are feeling now. Turn your anger and hurt into action!
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt wendy +, writes (20 March 2007):
have you got the courage to report this guy who abused you?i myself hsve just gone through a court case when i reported my abuser who abused me when i was ten it is hard to do at first but you can do it.secondly you should explain it all to your partner why you are like this he should understand and comfort you and wait till your ready to be passionate with him and be there when you need him good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (20 March 2007):
 You're pregnant, but you won't let your partner (who is not the father) touch you because of bad memories. Is the father of the unborn baby the one who sexually abused you? You should discuss this with a counselor, and explain that you don't want to rehash your experiences with them. I don't have any other advice for you.
Good luck!
...............................
|
