A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im so confused, im 22 been with my boyfriend 4 years, hes great, always there for me so romantic, loving caring, good job good morals, but ive broken up with him 3 times before as i wanted to play the field as i got with him so young and he was my first boyfriend first lover etc......once again im questioning being with him....have been meeting up with this other guy on the side not doing anything but hes just so much and we have the same banter etc but once again im worried ill dump my current boyfriend and that will be it.....hes so amazing to me so why do i question being with him? i know he would be the perfect husband, perfect dad etc.......but i sometimes feel i need to be single, should i stay with him just because i know he will always be good to me, and i would have a good future with him? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, racingsnake  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 hi there,hope all is well.
it's human nature to question things so don't think you're all alone there doing it.what i can tell you from my experience is that once you've got doubts about a relationship it would be over sooner or later.you might come back to it over and over again but it will never change.i'm going through that this very moment.i know how it feels.my girlfriend is everyhting a man could dream of but not me...she's just perfect...sounds stupid but true.in the end you've got to decide for yourself what is the best for you.remember that you've got your family to fall back on in the end.they will always support you.that's something we tend to forget.don't stay with someone just beacause you're scared to hurt them.that's the worst.remember it's you who's calling the shots.do it and take the responsibility for it.
hope that helps.
good luck.
A
female
reader, happytobe  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 I think that though you are safe with him, that's the only thing you really like about the relationship. It doesn't sound like (and this will be very corny, but true) you two have that spark. I think the love between the both of you has run it's course and it's time for you to just be independent. He sounds like he's a good enough guy to stay friends with you. You could take a break, play the field, that type of thing but if in the end you need him and miss him then a break is what you needed to snap you back into reality. But this time if you want to get back together with him you MUST be comitted. You can't play games with a man that great. They're so rare to find and some girl who was made for him and who would be perfect and ecstatic to be with him could be missing out on her chance. Honestly, you don't have both feet into this relationship. You're doing nothing but hurting the both of you.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (4 June 2009):
 you have a good thing but maybe because you got with him so young that it will always feel like you have missed out. if someone is right for you although you will get doubts you wont repeatedly dump him( that shows you dont have enough repect for HIS feelings to be an ecellent wife to him). if he is as nice as you say he is maybe it is fair to let him go, that way he wont carry as much baggage to another relationship as if he has been dumped repeatedly AND THEN cheated on (which sounds like your next move). if he has been dumped repeatedly he will think" the relationship wasn't right" if you explain things properly as you have on here. if he finds you cheating he will think " there is something wrong with me", which could ruin his ability to trust within a relationship again and cost him the future happiness.
sometimes in life doing the right thing is to make a decision that may not be comfortable in the short term but will be less uncomfortable than leaving things until an extreme event bring heartache worse than discomfort.
you want to leave because although he is good he isn't what you need.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (4 June 2009):
 hun you only know what you can do.you need to know what is right for you.if you're not happy with him then don't be with him but if you are happy with him and feel that you guys have a great future with him then go for it.but only you can know what you really feel none of us can unfortunately.if you see yourself being with him happily in the long run then sure but if you're questioning it and doubting your feelings for him then you need to move on and be single for as long as you can handle it and until you finally find the guy you really want to settle down with and that you are sure you want to be with him.hope this helps.x
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