A
male
age
36-40,
*aogwan
writes:I know guys come on here asking for help for problems about dealing with their girlfriends past. I have a similar problem but i don't understand why! I keep wanting to know who my girlfriend has had a fling with, the funny thing is she gave her virginity to me so i know i should appreciate it this. I know by me knowing i'm not going to benefit in any way. So can someone explain to me why i keep wanting to know?? Is it some psycological thing? How can i get away from it? Thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mia_1936  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 hey im a girl and i know about these things i think that you should ask your girlfriend if she has had another guy besides you in her life. honesty is the key to a relationship lasting. if something is on your mind you need to talk to her about it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): I think it makes you normal.Ever since the sexual revolution, the whole culture has just been in denial that a woman's past sexual partners actually matters to her future man.Now there's a whole generation of women who insist that half the young single sex they had "wasn't even worth it" and yet it tortures their final mate every day of his life.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 April 2008):
 I am the same way you are. You don't have to be a guy to wonder about your partners past. With me it is a psychological thing in that I can't help that I wonder about it. In a way, I want to be reassured I'm better than their exes. Basically that's why I ask, I'm not sure if it's the same for you or not. Also I agree it is a control issue. Mainly for me though I want to be considered the best or that they care for me more. Also, I like to know what mistakes happened in their past and what the problem was with their last gf to compare and see what he can handle and things like that. So yes it is a control factor. And you most likely do have jealousy problems. Just dont go overboard, you will push her away. Hope I helped in any way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): what makes you believe she has had a fling and is there a reason why she would do such a thing?maybe her behaviour as of late has had your head thinking things and working to hard,talk to her before you start accusing this could ruin your relationship
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 April 2008):
 Yes, it is physchological. You are a controlling personality. The fact that you are aware of this is a great step forward.
You need to see professional help to find out what the triggers are that lead to this jealously. You may very well be able to deal with it in future.
And the future does not look rosy for you, chances are you will not be with your current girlfriend for the rest of your life, so your next girlfriend will more than likely come with a sexual history -which in your current frame of mind will be unmanageable for you.
So see help, and do the right thing, otherwise you will drive future partners around the bend.
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